Oh the drama of being two...

I'm feeling a little sad right now. I just dropped Sebastian off at his new dayhome. He has not been very happy lately when we drop him off (tears streaming down face, grabbing onto your leg for dear life etc). I feel so terrible leaving him like that. We've been taking him 4 days a week just to get him used to it. Today was the first day for this week though, and surprise, surprise, it didn't go well. At least he's happy when we pick him up, but still, it sucks seeing him upset like that. I know that patience is the word of the day, but it's tough seeing him so upset. His early intervention person says it is perfectly normal though, so I guess I shouldn't worry too much. I'll take him to the park when I pick him up, and do fun stuff with him after the fact but geesh, if only he could pretend like he is not so devastated by my departure. 

In the meantime, I will spend the afternoon trying to declutter more of our basement. I really want to get that developed, and the only way that is going to happen is if we can get rid of some more stuff. If only I wasn't so good at procrastinating and was actually doing that now, instead of writing here. Oh well, hopefully it's my next stop. The list for today is long: laundry, moving toys out of our front room to a big bin downstairs, going through shelves, taking in the recycling, moving shelves around, getting groceries, doctor appointment, watering plants at my brother's place, etc. We'll see how it goes...

Pirates and Rats...

By now, you have probably figured out that I have a love for Disney. My brother would probably say that I am obsessed, but I am nowhere near like I used to be. However, on our last trip to Disney (in January), we bought a couple of costumes. One for me, and one for Sebastian. This year, will be his third Halloween. So far he's been a cow, and a skunk (which he absolutely hated). So, I figured, since he was going to be a rat this year, from Disney's Ratatouille no less, that I should try and introduce him to the costume slowly, so that he'd be excited about it. So, the other day, I pulled it out of the closet and showed it to him. He was immediately excited and wanted to put it on. He loved it!! He's worn it a few times since then, and just loves it. When he first goes to put it on, he says "hi Ratatouille" and gives the costume a big hug. I think he thinks that it really is a character. It's so cute!! 

Needless to say, if Sebastian was dressing up, I figured I better dress up too. I went into my closet and pulled out my Jack Sparrow pirate costume. Sebastian was so excited that we dressed up together in costumes. So, I have high hopes for this year on Halloween. I think he'll have fun in his costume. And, of course, I'm thrilled because FINALLY, he is wearing a Disney costume. Yippee!!

I can hardly wait for dinner!!

So tonight I am very excited for dinner. We're having East Indian takeout. I love East Indian. I really do. I think it's my favourite cuisine of all time. Butter chicken, samosas with tamarind sauce, fresh baked Garlic Naan, eggplant bartha, malai kofta...my mouth is watering just thinking of it. And we're going to a super fantastic place that I absolutely love, that I probably haven't been to in about 5 months or more. So, it's long time overdue.

Dayhome difficulties and random thoughts...

So, Sebastian is going to a new dayhome now. His old dayhome moved away and now he is trying to adjust to the new one. It's not going super great so far, but some days are better than others. This morning I had breakfast with him, talked about what he'd do there, while he insisted he was not going there. Eventually he gets his shoes on, walks out to the car, does fine. Walks up to the house, but as soon as the door opens, he has tears streaming down his face. It really makes me feel like I'm this terrible parent for leaving him there. He's always fine when we pick him up, but boy oh boy, dropping him off is just heart breaking. But, it took him about 8 months to feel comfortable at the first place, so really, it will take a bit to adjust here too!!

On a happier note, I've been listening to my U2 list on my ipod. I love U2. It's funny though, because I find that I seldom choose to listen to them, despite them being one of my favourite bands. So, it's been such a treat hearing all these different songs "With Or Without You", "Bad", "Beautiful Day", "Staring At The Sun", and all kinds of others. I love it!! I can hardly wait to get back in my car and listen to more!!

My decluttering is going well. Yesterday, I managed to get about 3 bags of trash/recycling out of our office. We bought a mac two years ago and we have never moved the PC off the desk. Seriously, we don't use it. So finally yesterday, the PC went away. And now the desk looks great. The hardest thing though, is trying to pare down books. I love books and never want to get rid of any, but managed to find a bunch that I really might never read again. For me, that's huge!!

Oh well, that's all. The mole didn't end. I have to watch again next week. Grrrrrr... Well, at least fall tv isn't too far away. I haven't been watching much, but am looking forward to a the return of a couple shows!!

Camping...

So, we just got back from a weekend of camping. It was a lot of fun. Sebastian was great on the hike we did to the upper falls of Johnson Canyon. He was in the baby backpack the whole way there (yes, I lugged the heavyweight all 3km) while my husband kept the dog in check. 

I love camping. I have only ever done the whole tenting thing, and usually more the backcountry, carry everything with you type of thing. Since having a child however, backpacking has taken a back seat to car camping. It's nice though, having the convenience of a car and the ability to stop by a store for more supplies. I'm a little more aware of my surroundings however and the possibility of wildlife approaching. Now that I have a little one to watch out for, I want to make sure I've done everything I can to protect him from any chance encounters. Thus, the dog slept in the back of the Golf. And we were careful to put away any food products so that we wouldn't have any bear encounters. Of course I love the fun fuzzy creatures, but prefer to see them from the comfort of my car, at a safe distance, or in the zoo, so that I am not in danger and I am not putting the bear in any kind of danger. We did see one bear, driving along the Bow Valley Parkway, so it was a reminder that they are there, and to be careful to keep things away. 

I hope Sebastian will love camping because I plan to take him backpacking when he gets older. I want him to appreciate the amazing scenery that is his backyard (the Rocky Mountains). People travel from around the world to see them, but we are fortunate enough to have them right here to enjoy whenever we want. 

Oh well, must go watch the Mole now. It's the last show I think...

How many children do I really want?

I love spending time with Sebastian. I love that he's going to have a little brother or sister sometime here. I've spent a lot of time lately wondering about what I want for my family. I always swore I'd never have kids, then Sebastian came along and he's such a hoot. Now someone else is coming along and I've wondered if 2 kids is enough. I know I won't physically have more than 2 kids, but I think I really want more than 2 kids. I really want to adopt. Maybe it's crazy, but I think it would be such an amazing experience for our family. It would be a way to learn about other cultures, another sibling for Sebastian and his soon-to-be sibling, a way to increase our family size without burdening the world's overpopulation problem, and crazy enough, I think I may even want to have more than 2 kids (which I swore I never would have in a million years).

I've read a few blogs lately about people going through various experiences (having their own kids, being a mother by choice, and families who adopt) in relation to family growth. The blogs have been fantastic and a great way to see what has worked for different families.

Awhile back, I lived in India and I remember thinking that it was so sad that there were so many kids out there just wanting someone to love them. Rather than grow up in an orphanage, maybe I can help at least one child have a childhood with a family who loves them.

I also think that maybe the idea of adopting has helped to ease some of the stress and worry that the pregnancy is inevitably creating (even if it is only in the background). Sebastian's early arrival was definitely not part of the big picture plan, and his roller coaster beginning was tough. I know we're being watched more carefully this time around, but we can't deny the fact that the same thing could happen again (of course it may not, it's that unknown!!). I think planning for the future, and the idea of another addition to our family has definitely helped ease those worries. I believe everything will turn out fine, and by planning for the future, I'm imagining what will happen next, after the baby comes home. I did the same thing when Sebastian was sick, planning his time capsule to be opened when he turns 18 or has his first child. I had to concentrate on the future so I wouldn't let the scary part of the present overtake where I wanted us to be down the road. Silly, but effective!!

Time to declutter...

So, I am reading "It's All Too Much" by Peter Walsh. I've read it before. I love it. It makes me deal with the clutter in my life. Now that we're expanding the family, I want to trim some of our clutter again. This totally stresses out my husband. He'd keep everything, forever, if he had his way. But I hate watching the island in the kitchen get piled up with stuff. I know I am just as guilty as him, but we defintiely have stuff we don't need and we could use with a little more organization.

I want to be able to develop the basement, and in order to do that, we need to trim back some of the stuff down there. It's tough though, because there's so many reasons we keep clutter. I need to just be cutthroat and get rid of stuff. Easier said than done, but I can do it. So this next week, I intend to do exactly that. The less stuff we have, the easier it is to stay organized!!

Not sure which area to attack first, but I will figure it out!!