when it rains, it pours...

Okay, so of course I was a bit ticked off about Sebastian needing glasses, but I've come to accept that. But now, I also need to come to terms with the fact that Sebastian might need to have surgery to repair a small leak in his abdomen. 

Let me back up a couple steps. On Friday, we noticed that one of Sebastian's testicles was a little swollen. We didn't think too much of it, looked it up online, then went to sleep. In the morning it was back to normal, so we figured all was well, but by mid afternoon, it was swollen again. So, that night we put a call into our nursing centre to ask what we should do and if it was serious. They advised us to have him seen at the hospital within four hours. We packed up the little guy, along with some books, toys and a stroller and headed out. We arrived a little after 9pm. Of course it was busy and we knew we'd be waiting awhile. We went for snacks, then came back, read some stories, and eventually Sebastian fell asleep. We did not really want him touching any of the toys in the ER since he's already prone to illness and germs spread like wildfire in a place like that. After another checkup with the triage nurse, we are moved up the list and a little after 1 in the morning, we are seen by a doctor. The doctor said that he had some sort of fluid accumulating, likely because of a leak allowing fluid into the scrotum. He referred us for an ultrasound on Monday and referred us to a consult with surgery. 

On Monday, he had the ultrasound, and then they made us go back to the ER to get the results. I questioned whether it was needed since we were being referred to surgery, but they said, yes, so back to triage we went, and about 3 hours later, were finally seen by a doctor. The doctor said, yes, there is fluid, on both sides, and we had already been referred to surgery, so that was it. Grrrrrr...I waited 3 hours to find out what I already knew!!

So, today, I made an appointment with surgery. We are being referred to the same doctor that performed the hernia repair on him back when he was three months old. I figured I would call rather than waiting to hear from them. And, they have us booked in for next week. So, I don't know what will happen for sure, but I do know that they will have to watch it closely in case a piece of bowel slips into the scrotum. That would potentially be life threatening, so it will have to be dealt with and followed closely. Will he need surgery? We don't know. The ER doctor said she'd leave that to the surgeon to talk to us about. 

I'm a little scared. I remember giving Sebastian to the nurse when he was three months old for surgery, wearing his green little scrubs and all (see photo above). It was tough then, but now, he's this amazing little boy, and the idea of turning him over to the doctors seems even scarier!! I know they are only doing what is best for him, but I still think I will be all full of tears and stuff!! I just have to put on a brave face for my little man. Of course maybe it won't even have to be a surgery, but if it is...

Shopping for glasses...

So, my son had an appointment the other day with his opthamalogist. She is the doctor that did the surgery on him when he was three months old to correct the ROP (retinopathy of prematurity), that he had. Basically, this is where the blood vessels on the eye don't grow properly and threaten to pull the retina off, thus causing blindness, so the surgery was very needed. She has watched him very closely since then (at first every week, and slowly it's become longer between visits to the point now where it's about every 6-7 months). She has warned us that he will likely need glasses, but so far has managed to avoid them.

All that changed this week though!! We have a prescription for glasses for him. My little boy, only 2 years old, will be getting glasses. Now, I know, in the big huge scheme of things, glasses are pretty minor, but it still upset me a little. Basically, it's like his preemieness has come back to haunt him. So, if my little guy decides he wants to be a pilot someday, he can't. He's two, and certain opportunities will now be taken away from him simply because he was born early and ended up needing glasses at such a young age. It angers me because I want the world to be available to him, and I feel bad that some things for him will now be limited.

How does he go swimming now? He'll have to wear his glasses!! Little things like that. And what if other kids make fun of him because of his glasses. I don't want him to have to worry about that!! I know in the big picture of his life, needing glasses is a very small thing, but as his mom, I feel like I maybe failed him a little, and maybe had things gone differently, he would be just fine. In reality, I know that we are simply lucky to have him, and that glasses are just a small little battle scar from the trauma he ensured when he was fighting for his life. So, yes, I am grateful that it's only a small issue, but it still doesn't mean I can't be a little grumpy about it!! Here's hoping we find a cute pair for him!!

Which way to go...

I have been thinking a lot lately about various different career options. As we await the arrival of our second child (who's heart beat was completely normal this week...yippee!!), I know that I will have time off to enjoy with both my kids, but after that, I'm not sure how I want to proceed. I know that I want to work, and do something, but the problem is, there are so many things I want to do!!

I could stay doing what I do, after all, I enjoy the work, but there's just no real room to expand and do much else.

I could quit working all together and stay at home with the kids. That might be fun, but I really do like working, and I know that when I'm done working, I'm a better mom to my son because I have been away from him. I could go part time, and that might work out well, but I also wonder if maybe it's time to find something else. The tough part is what might that something else be!!

I'd love to go back to school, maybe law school, or nursing, or fine arts of some kind. But I think that it really isn't the right time for that.

I could start some kind of business, but I'm not sure what that would be. I'd love to do photography, as I truly love that. Or maybe something else, just not sure.

And then there's the option of applying to be a police officer. It's been in the back of my mind for more than 7 years now. I even went so far as to have the eye surgery to meet the vision requirement. There are so many different areas to work in and I think I would do really well at this. Part of the reason I hadn't applied yet, was because I wanted to have kids first. Well, I've done that, so now (well, a few months from now) there's nothing stopping me from applying. Except maybe fear that I won't be fast enough for the physical requirements, or that I just don't have what they're looking for. I know, I just need to be confident and apply. If they didn't want me, then at least I tried, but if I don't apply, I might always wonder, what if...

Does the Y chromosome lack a cleaning gene?

Okay, now, most of the time, I am quite happy with most everything in my life. I try and make the most of every day and have fun with whatever I'm doing. Now, I know cleaning isn't fun, but it has to be done and really, there's no reason to complain about it, but rather just get it done so you can get on with enjoying real life!!

So, ever since I got back from California, I've been working extra hard to try and get our house back to being somewhat clean again. My husband claims I left it in disarray (not true, since my mom was staying there and I know I cleaned up before she got there!!). So, each day I've been doing bits and pieces. Every now and then, I ask for his help, and it's sort of like pulling teeth. If it's his day off, he doesn't want to spend his day off cleaning, if it's a day he is working, then he's too tired to do any cleaning. And, if he reluctantly agrees to clean anything, he'll spend the entire time moaning about how much he hates cleaning and how really it's me who makes all the messes etc etc etc. It drives me insane!! I mean, cleaning is not that much fun in the first place, but it's even less fun with someone complaining the whole time while you are doing it!!

The other night I set the timer for 15 minutes and said, let's just work on the kitchen. Well, by the time the timer went off (add a few extra minutes), the kitchen was in awesome shape, and I was so glad he helped. He still did complain through most of it, but hey, we got tons accomplished. Of course when I suggested we set a timer the next day and clean something else, he proceeded to tell me he was not a child and didn't need to be told what to do!!

So, I have no idea how to ask him to help with the cleaning without sounding like I'm nagging, and without having to do most of it myself. I know he hates cleaning, but so do most people. It's a neccessary evil, so let's just do it and get it overwith. I'm so happy that we're caught up again, especially since Jeremy's sister is visiting this weekend, but I just dread as we start again, and having to hear the same arguments about how terrible cleaning is...really, does the broken record ever stop?? Or maybe it's me, for wanting a clean house so that if unexpected company just dropped by, I wouldn't be embarrassed to have them there. What's a girl to do!!

The Disneyland Half Marathon Experience...

So, if you have ever wondered what it's like to finish a half marathon, I will fill you in. I finished the Disneyland Half Marathon on Sunday. The morning began around 3am. It's tough getting up that early, and that's my least favourite part of these big races. We caught the bus from our hotel around 3:30am and were soon walking through Downtown Disney to get to the place where you hang out until it's time to move to the starting corrals. We hung out for about an hour sitting on the pavement of a parking lot while the little green army men from Toy Story walked around entertaining people. Around 5am, it was time to head to the starting corrals (A-G). We were in Corral F.

The race started promptly at 6am. I crossed the starting line about 24 minutes after the race had begun (that's what happens in a field of 13500 runners). I made a last minute decision to visit the portapotty on the way to the start line (and there wasn't even a line up for them!!). The start had no fireworks, but did have some fancy flame things and of course Mickey and Minnie. Soon after crossing the start line, we were running under the monorail and Goofy, Donald, Chip and Dale were waving at us from the monorail.

My heart rate was pretty high, so soon in, I started walking. My shins were absolutely killing me. I was watching my heart rate closely since I was running with a child onboard and didn't want to over exert myself. At mile 1, I was doing okay. Soon after, we were heading into California Adventure. I stopped to get photos with the characters along the way (a bug's life, Buzz and Woody, Brother Bear). We could see the people in front of us who had already cleared Paradise Bay. By the time I cleared it, there were hardly any people behind me. This made me panic just a bit. Since I was walking most of the time, I could only go so fast.

We came out of California Adventure and crossed over to Disneyland. It was fantastic running through Tomorrowland. I got pictures with Pinnochio, Nemo, in front of Sleeping Beauty's Castle etc. Again I was made aware of how few people were behind me. At the 4 mile mark, I ran into the pace crew for the first time, telling me I was 10 minutes ahead of the cutoff time. This made me panic huge time so I put in bits of running, but as soon as my heart rate went up, I had to back off to walking. At mile 5, I was 9 minutes off. At mile 6, 8 minues off and decided I didn't want to keep seeing them. Mile 7, I was 7 minutes off the cut off. I then ran on any downhills I came across or shady bits. It was effective and I never saw the pace crew again.

The section from mile 4 to mile 8 was tough because there was not much to see. There were several bands and cheerleading squads, and they were fantastic. The kids were cheering & kept me motivated.

At about 8.5 miles, I approached the Honda Centre. This is where the Anaheim Mighty Ducks play. Coming through the parking lot, there were lots of spectators cheering us on, including a 4H group. Next up, we joined a dirt path, & you caould smell the dirt in the air. It was along side a river, but there was not one drop of water in the river. Soon was mile 9 and the Clif Shots stop. This was the third gel I had, as I was having one every 3 miles to keep me and the baby hydrated and nourished.

Next up was Angel Stadium. There were huge numbers of spectators there and tons of girl scout and boy scout troops. It was very inspiring. There was an announcer saying we had reached the 10 mile marker but it was forever after we passed him that we actually got to the 10 mile marker. Grrr... I hate it when people tell you that you are somewhere, but then really you have about another half mile to go!! By mile 11, my feet were feeling heavy, but I kept plugging along.

At 12 miles, I took my last gel, and soon we were back inside California Adventure again. I took a photo of the Tower of Terror, and then stopped for pictures with Monsters, Inc, Mrs. Incredible and Ratatouille. From there, I ran through Downtown Disney (loving the air conditioning from the open doors we ran past), then turned the corner at mile 13 for the final stretch.

I finished in 3 hours, 29 minutes, and 42 seconds. This was only 18 seconds less than the official cut off time. Nothing like cutting it a little close!! More than 400 people finished after me though. I was so excited to be under the official time though, and knowing that many people finished after me meant that I passed a lot of people, since at mile 2, there were less than 50 people behind me!! And, I did most of the race walking, looking out for my little guy. I earned my castle medal and the coast-to-coast medal (for having also completed a race in Florida in January). It felt so good to finish!!

It's been a busy racing year. I mentored with Team In Training for 2 seasons, completed 3 half marathons, one marathon, was part of a team for the Banff/Jasper Relay, the Mother's Day 10km (in support of Neonatal Intensive Care), the Ronald Mcdonald House Rock the House run, and still have the EMS Ambulance Chasers coming up in October. I know I'll be taking it easy for a few months after this, but I'm already looking ahead for races for next year. I'm thinking maybe Seattle, or San Francisco, or perhaps maybe I'll move into the world of triathlons. Time will tell I suppose, but I have to keep following my dreams!!

I found them!!

Okay, so in January, I was down in Florida for the Disney Marathon Weekend. I ran both the Half Marathon and Full Marathon. By doing both, I got a Donald Medal (for the half), Mickey Medal (for the full marathon), and a Goofy medal for being crazy enough to attempt them both. A month later, I got an email saying if I did the Disneyland Half Marathon in September, I'd get a special Coast-to-Coast medal for doing races at both parks. I didn't give it much thought as we had spent lots of money going to Florida and had a super time and another trip wasn't very likely. But then, my sister said she was going to go to Disneyland to do this run, and was I interested as well? Of course I was, but again, it didn't seem likely. I mentioned it to Jeremy and he thought it was a great idea and that I should go and get to know my sister and brother (both half siblings that I never knew growing up). Jeremy entered me into the race and I was set.

Well, fast forward to yesterday. Obviously the race is over, and by the narrow margain of 18 seconds, I finished the race in the official allotted amount of time. I earned my castle medal and the coast-to-coast medal. So, now, I wanted to see all the medals together, but I wasn't sure where my Florida medals were. Sebastian sometimes plays with them, so really, they could have been anywhere. I began looking around a few days ago, but no luck. I was starting to be a bit worried that perhaps they were lost forever (and the work it took to get them is not easily repeated!!). Last night, I began searching more intently, going through boxes and closets and wouldn't you know it, they were in a box in the closet in our office. I was soooooo excited. I layed them all out and admired my hard work. They are pretty neat looking and I'm not sure when I will get the chance again to do those same races in the same year. Thank goodness I found them, because that made my night.

However, the night was even better because while searching for the medals, I also came across a box of cd's that I have been trying to find for a few months as well. It contained some songs I really wanted to put on my ipod, and since have. Bruce Springsteen, They Might Be Giants, Disney's Candlelight Processional, and the song I wanted most of all "Affirmation" by Savage Garden. It's such a great song that has such a great life message that I truly try and live by. If you get a chance, have a listen, you'll see what I mean!!

Running fixes everything!!

So, I stopped in at the doctor today to double check on the baby's heart rate. And... it was awesome!! There were no skipped beats and nothing irregular about it!! I was so incredibly happy. Now, I know, it doesn't mean everything is fixed, but it sure was a relief that there wasn't any issue today, and that the heart rate itself, is exactly where it should be (146 today). The baby was moving lots so it took a few tries before he got a solid 10 seconds in a row, but it was music to my ears!! 

My theory, it was the half marathon. I ran the Disneyland half marathon on Sunday (more on that later), and basically spend 3 1/2 hours with my heart rate at a solid 145 beats a minute on average. So, I figure, I was sort of teaching the baby where his heart rate should be and he is a quick study!! I know, it probably had nothing to do with it, but hey, exercise is good for me and the baby, and look, the heart rate today was normal!! So now, I am excited for the appointments next week and not so scared anymore!!