Oh the challenges...

I love my boys. Truly. They are both amazing kids and I am so lucky to be their mom. Every day, Sebastian is becoming a more incredible kid. And Sullivan, I am absolutely blown away by him and his potential. Yesterday, he was putting together his own pizza with the Melissa and Doug pizza set. It was so neat to watch. Nobody showed him, he just figured it out from watching his brother play. Truly, impressive. I have fun with them every day. We dance, we sing, we run, we play. Life is beautiful and they make me smile all the time.

Some days though, I feel a little bit blah. Let me explain. By now, if you've been reading this blog for any length of time, you will know that Sebastian was born premature. He was born at 28 weeks, and he was super sick when he was born. We were not given any guarantee on his outcome, whether or not he would live, and what kind of life he would have if he did live. Really, it was stepping into the complete unknown. The only thing they knew for sure, was that if the pregnancy continued, he would die. So, we went ahead with the emergency c-section. He was born, ventilated immediately, and his roller coaster began. I won't go through all that again, because, well, been there, done that. But suffice it to say, a baby is supposed to be inutero for forty weeks. Twenty-eight weeks, really isn't ideal. Not by any stretch. And the time missed inutero, has an effect. There are consequences for that missed time. Those consequences vary from child to child, from case to case, from family to family. Sometimes there is almost no leftover remnants of the lost time, however, in most cases there are consequences and they range from very mild to very severe. Sebastian is fortunate that most of his challenges have been fairly minor in the huge spectrum of things he could be facing. But those challenges are there none the less.

The older Sebastian gets, however, the more we learn about some of the consequences of being born that early. Now don't get me wrong. For the most part, he's a regular little boy. But there are some things. Like his glasses. He ended up having very severe ROP and had to have surgery so that he would not go blind. Of course a side effect of that, is the glasses. It's not a huge deal, I understand that, but it still limits him in some ways. Had he been born fullterm, he would not have had ROP.

And fine motor. He is very delayed with fine motor skills. Again, it's not super serious, but he just turned four, and has the fine motor skills of someone who just turned two. So, what does this mean? Well, unlike his peers, he can't use a fork or spoon very well. This is a huge challenge for him. He can't undo or do up his pants. He can't do up zippers on his own. He can't draw or write anything. I know these aren't the biggest deal, but they are things we have to work on, things that most other kids his age can do. And he's working on it, my goodness is he ever. But without a doubt, it slows him down. I hope he will catch up. We are told he should, but it's suddenly becoming harder to be a parent, watching him be challenged by things that others pick up with no issue.

Part of me feels so guilty for the challenges he has. I don't think I have any reason to. But I just feel like, if he hadn't gotten so sick in utero, and didn't need to be delivered early, that he would be just fine now. I wonder if I should have done things differently during the pregnancy, yet what could I have changed? I didn't drink, I didn't smoke, I exercised, I ate a variety of foods. I drank water. I took my vitamins. I did all the things I was supposed to. Well, I broke my leg, or better yet, my dog broke my leg. And I wonder if that somehow caused the rest of the issues. The doctors said it did not, but the doctors could not find a reason that he got sick in the first place. I mean, I know I can't look back and second guess everything, but I just hope there was nothing that was in my control that could have prevented this.

Now, having a fullterm child, I am becoming more aware of how much extra work Sebastian has had to do on many of his skills. Sullivan picks things up no problem. He has incredible fine motor skills, probably equal to, or better than his older brother. He grasped the concept of eating immediately, with very little assistance required. He is already trying to dress himself. He is keen and interested in everything around him. He loves the outdoors. Very little slows him down. It has been a totally different experience. And I truly appreciate that.




On Friday I met with his preschool treatment therapists to learn about the assessments they had completed. He rocked the language and speech. I mean, he is doing amazing!! He has the vocabulary of someone who is 5 years, 8 months. He speaks clearly, is easy to understand and uses good grammar the majority of the time. Amazing. Awesome. Way to go little man. Gross motor is still a little behind but not too much. Fine motor, while, I already spoke of that. He measures very low on the spectrum. And we knew he would. And this explains so much about the things he isn't doing. And we know where we need to work.

But, we were confronted with a whole new set of issues. Related to sensory inputs and overloads and stuff like that. It was tough sitting there listening to them talk about it, yet it again, explains a lot with some of our challenges with Sebastian. His unusual sleep patterns, his challenges with food, and more. I asked if this is something he grows out of. They said, he was born at 28 weeks, there are consequences to the lost time. One of them is the heightened sensory inputs, and no, that will not change. Will he end up with a diagnosis? They don't see that at this point, but he will need to learn to find outlets to help him cope with the information that comes in at rates and ways he can't handle. He will meltdown, he will run, he will figure out what he needs to get to his happy place. And it helps explain his eating even more. Between all the tubes that were shoved down his throat, and what not, his mouth is ultra sensitive. He has a very hard time eating things of a certain size, or texture, or what have you. So, aside from having the challenge of not being able to use a fork or spoon very easily, he also has a hard time with sensory overload in his mouth. And in the end, is happiest drinking. It doesn't send funny messages to his brain. And when he has difficulties at swimming putting his face in the water, it's not just about putting his face in, its about what's happening to his ears and eyes and hair and everything else. Even though he works really hard to do this, his brain sends messages that counteract what he's trying to do. I still don't understand everything they were talking about, as this was totally new and not something I expected to be jumping into that day. But, we will have to work with him on this stuff, and help him find ways to get to his happy place.

So, for anyone out there, please be patient. He doesn't always get the correct message when you are talking to him. And sometimes, other things in the world around him distract him to a point where he just can't handle it. So he might get totally fixated on one thing. That might not be the hill to take a stand against him. His eating likely won't be that great anytime soon. And it's okay if you help him with his pants or with a zipper. He's still learning, and may take awhile to become more independent. It's okay when we have to help him eat, or he won't. It's okay if we help him get his socks and shoes on, or he'll just go without. It's okay if we help him with the bathroom, even though he's potty trained, that doesn't help with the fact that he can't do up his pants. So, we will keep working on things. We want him to succeed just as much as anyone else. We aren't trying to take away from his potential, we are working with him to reach it. He might look and sound like any other kid, but he is dealing with an extra set of things that other kids might never have to. That's a lot for him to carry, but he does it well.

I love my boys. They are both amazing and they are both very much their own person. I will be forever grateful that Sebastian is with us, as I know his odds were extremely dismal in his first weeks. And if the price he has to pay to be with us is in some of these challenges, then I will help do whatever I can to give him the tools to succeed. And yes, I'll be a little sad that things are more challenging than they should be. But for the amazing little kid that he is, I wouldn't miss it for the world. And in Sullivan I'll appreciate things they way they usually go. They really are both great kids. And watching them play together and chase each other around the house laughing the whole time, is so worth every moment. Thank you Sebastian for helping me develop patience and an ability to stand up for you and what you need. And thank you Sullivan for testing that patience and keeping me in check. I know I have a lot to learn yet about being a parent, but I have the greatest little teachers!!

Happy Birthday Sebastian... 4 years old!!

Wow, I completely cannot believe that you are four years old!! I can't believe, that four years ago, on this day, I was going to an ultrasound with your dad to just double check that everything was okay with you, and that I had a physio appointment booked for after that (I had a broken leg and it wasn't healing well!!). And I remember that ultrasound appointment well, as so many people had to come and look. We knew something was wrong, but nobody would say anything until the next person checked it out, and 3 techs, and two doctors later, someone finally talked. You were sick. You were really really sick. They would have liked to give me some shots to help your lungs along, but there wasn't time for that. You were too sick. If they didn't get you out, you weren't going to make it. You had hydrops and the outcome was unknown, but if you weren't delivered, you wouldn't be with us. That part they knew for sure. What a scary moment. All we wanted for you was to be okay. It's funny though, I somehow knew you were going to be born that day. So when they suggested that, I wasn't shocked, I was just so incredibly afraid for you and whether or not you'd be okay.

And, after you were delivered, I barely got a glimpse of you, before they whisked you away to the NICU to work on you. You were already ventilated and things weren't going well. You began with a very rocky start and hour by hour, you got worse, not better. They brought out more treatment options and different machines to help you along. They had to prioritize the tests they did on you, because you had hardly any blood and they needed to do transfusions. It was very scary. But you were a little fighter. And as the days passed, you gave us some scares, but slowly you got better. It was amazing to watch you meet the different NICU milestones. Peeing, pooping (these were huge!!), getting off different medications, getting off the ventilator, getting off the nitric oxide, weighing in at 1 kilogram (2.2lbs) was a huge one, holding your temperature, tolerating breast milk, passing your hearing screen, moving from the isolette to a cot, getting off oxygen. It was a tough road you took in the beginning, but your resilience and zest for life were apparent early on.


I remember when we finally got to take you home. I was amazed that the hospital actually trusted us to take care of you. I mean, what did we know!! We had never been parents before, yet, here we were, responsible for all your needs. It seemed like such a huge responsibility and then you add in the part where we didn't have any machines at home to monitor you, and it seemed so scary!! But, we figured it out. Of course two weeks after you were discharged you were back in the hospital having eye surgery and a hernia repair surgery!! That was scary. I remember you in your little green scrubs and carrying you down to the surgery ward. And then leaving you with the nurses after talking to both doctors who would be doing the surgeries, back to back. And then waiting to hear how things went, and then watching you back in the ICU again, back on a ventilator, then back on oxygen, hoping and praying you'd come off it (which you did!!).


And then you began to grow and change. It was amazing watching you discover the world around you. We didn't get to do a whole lot of social stuff. RSV season is a very scary time for preemies and we didn't want to expose you to anything, so for the most part, we kept you out of social settings. We still went to the dog park most days. And that was nice.

Then you started to develop. There was rolling over, and tummy time, and sitting and crawling and all that good stuff. Because you were so small when you were born, you didn't have the muscle strength of other babies your age, so some things took a little bit longer to do. That's okay though, because you still did them all. I remember when we signed you up for your first race, we didn't even know if you'd be walking or not!! But you were and you finished it. Talking also took a bit longer, but here you are, turning four years old, and at your assessment last week, had the vocabulary expected of someone 5 years, 8 months old. You totally rocked all your speech and language tests!! You still have some fine motor challenges, but we're working on it. And I have no doubt you'll catch up with that too!!

So Sebastian, who are you right now? You are this amazing little boy. You say the sweetest things and are super affectionate. You love cuddling and you love being with people. You always have a hug for me or dad and you are becoming an incredible big brother to Sullivan. You help him out with things, you give him toys, you share (well, sometimes anyhow), and when you do happen to knock your brother over, you are quick to apologize and give him a hug. You love dinosaurs, and trains. You love your blue blanket and sleep with it most every night. And ever since Sullivan got his Giuseppe bunny, you have been attached to your musical blue puppy. You love anything electronic and love talking on the phone to people now. You love dancing with me and your brother to songs like "I gotta feeling", "just dance" and "paper planes". And you enjoy the They Might Be Giants kids albums, with your favourite songs being "Bloodmobile", "A Shooting Star is Not A Star", and "7". Movies, your favourites are Peter Pan, Shrek, Toy Story 2, Beauty and the Beast, Alladin, Monsters Inc, and Up. And television, you love the Backyardigans (Robot Rampage!!), Super Why, Dinosaur Train, Handy Manny, Mickey Mouse Clubhouse and Special Agent Oso. And you love books!! You love all kinds of stories, and have pretty much learned all the letters of the alphabet now. You love playing on the computer at pbskids.org.


Foods, well, they are challenging. Eating isn't your strongest suit, but you do love your cookies, especially Oreos and Chips Ahoy. You love grapefruit and avocado. And toast, you love toast, with Nutella, raspberry jam, peanut butter, and most recently, honey. And your all time favourite eating out food is McDonalds chicken and fries. You also love the kids hot chocolate from Starbucks, which you drink with a straw. You are becoming quite the little chef and love helping me make puffed wheat squares or cookies or pretty much anything where you get to stir and measure.


You are in preschool and doing quite well with that (well, except for Monday, when you fell at the gym and ended up with a bleeding nose). You enjoy swimming, and finally passed Sea Turtle on the third try (you aren't a big fan of sticking your head in the water!!). You have taken skating lessons, and are still finding your balance on the ice. And you are in sportball, and doing quite well at that. But far and away, your favourite exercise is running. If we strap the garmin watch on your wrist, you would run for hours. You love having little races and told me you want to run a race with me. So I am thinking we might run Mother's Day together this year!!


Sebastian, every day you amaze me with what an incredible little boy you are. You are sweet and kind and I am so proud of all that you have accomplished. I am amazed at how far you've come since your beginning when you weighed only 1 pound 13 ounces (830grams). You truly are a miracle, and I am thankful every day to have you in my life. You make me smile and laugh all the time. You are my best little buddy!! Thank you for all that you are, and I look forward to all that you will be. You are amazing and I love you!!

Giuseppe Bunny...

So, when I was in Germany last year, I picked up a bunny for Sullivan. It was a special bunny that was musical and cuddly. It was a bit pricey, but it was something special just for him. It was high quality and I figured it would be his special bunny.

Fast forward to this year, when I went back to work, Giuseppe bunny became something he became very attached to. And, we nearly lost him!! We forgot him at the hospital one day after preschool treatment. Let's just say, I'm very glad they still had him and we made a special trip there on the Monday after a very long weekend without him!! He's made by sigikid and he's beautiful. So, I decided to snap some pictures of Sullivan and his bunny...





As you can see, he's a very loved little bunny!!

A yummy Canadian treat anyone?

The January 2010 Daring Bakers’ challenge was hosted by Lauren of Celiac Teen. Lauren chose Gluten-Free Graham Wafers and Nanaimo Bars as the challenge for the month. The sources she based her recipe on are 101 Cookbooks and www.nanaimo.ca.

We had a lot of fun with this challenge. Of course, as per usual, my friend Cindy and I got together and worked on the challenge. We decided to embrace what Lauren was wanting and made the gluten free graham crackers. It was interesting shopping for the different flours. I went to Superstore and first checked out the health section. I found the tapioca flour there for about $7 or $8 for a small bag. Didn't see the glutonous rice flour or the other stuff. Next, I headed for the ethnic aisle. I found the glutonous rice flour and ended up having to substitute the third flour for a combo of millet and brown rice flour. But, the biggest discovery was finding tapioca flour again, but this time, it only cost 68 cents. Seriously!! I could not believe that it was the same stuff, but of course, the packaging was not quite so fancy. Basically, buying the north american import version was way marked up compared to the imported version of the ethnic variety. I was blown away by the price difference. But anyhow, onto the task at hand...

We got together and made the crackers. We tried to hurry up the chilling times a bit which is likely what lead to the sort of poor looking results, but they did taste okay, and since we were grinding them up anyways for the squares, we used them as so.

We assembled the Nanaimo Squares a couple days later when we were also making a dinner together (from the Julie and Julia movie, we made the deboned stuffed duck wrapped in pastry which hopefully I can post about another day sometime soon, but suffice it to say, it was lots of fun). I ended up doing most of the work on the squares as I had no interest in playing any role with the deboning of the duck. We followed the base as per the recipe.

For the filling, Cindy wanted something with cherry, so I sort of did a fly by the seat of my pants kind of filling. I added the softened butter and icing sugar, custard powder, some milk, maraschino cherry juice, cut up cherries and some almond extract. Ended up needing to add extra sugar to balance out the extra liquid. Although Cindy wanted pink, they looked a little more orange (due to the custard powder), so if making them again and going for the pink colour, I'd skip that powder.

We added the chocolate and mmmmm.... they were tasty!! I didn't even really notice a difference using the gluten free crackers. They tasted the way a Nanaimo Bar should taste... yummy!! Thanks for a great challenge and helping us push our limits and work with new ingredients. I have made Nanaimo Bars many times in the past so for me, it was a treat to try something new by making the crackers.

Part of the Vancouver 2010 Olympic Torch Relay...

Wow!! Where to begin. Yesterday I had one of the best moments of my life. Yesterday I was part of the Vancouver 2010 Olympic Torch Relay. Yesterday I was part of something so much bigger than myself. It was amazing. It was fantastic. It was awesome. I am still smiling. And I still can't believe I got to participate.

It started a long time ago though. I remember back in 1988 when the Olympics were coming to Calgary and the torch was travelling across Canada. I remember when the torch went through Medicine Hat and I thought it was one of the neatest things ever. I also remember my uncle had the opportunity to be a torch bearer as well. I thought it was so incredible. I wished I could be a torch bearer. Fast forward a few years and the Olympics were coming back to Canada. I knew there would be a torch relay again and I wondered what it would take to be part of it. I remember telling my husband that I wanted to be a torchbearer. I remember when they announced that you would have to apply either through Coke or RBC. I did both. With Coke, I entered and then had the opportunity to prepare an essay. I wrote an essay about my commitment to active living and inspiring others to do the same while setting an example for my kids. With RBC I wrote about my efforts at volunteering and raising funds for various causes. Ultimately though, it was Coke who chose me. I remember getting the email and being more excited than ever. It was a neat email with the Open Happiness song playing (which, ironically has been in my head since I ran yesterday!!). I was dancing around the house. Jeremy thought I was crazy. I just couldn't believe that I actually got picked!! But, I guess promising to lead an active life, setting an example for my boys and inspiring others was good enough. And, I spent the whole of 2009 living up to that promise!!

A few weeks later, the paperwork came, and I sent everything off, by priority post of course, so that I could check online that it was actually delivered. Then, in December, I got an email with my assignment. I would be carrying the torch on Day 88 in a small town called Oliver, BC. It wasn't my hometown or the town I was living in, but it was in beautiful BC wine country. A bit later in December a box arrived. The box contained my uniform, complete with red mittens. Suddenly, it was actually feeling real!! About a week before, I got another email reminding me about how I was special and chosen by a committee and all this sort of thing.

In January, we booked tickets and were flying out with my mom and brother. It meant a lot that people in my life wanted to share in this moment. I packed up my torch bearer uniform into my carry on so there was no chance it would get lost!!

On Sunday evening, we spent the night in Osoyoos. It was great. There were fireworks in honour of the torch having arrived there. The next morning, we got up early and left for our short twenty minute drive to the Jackson Triggs Winery. We left just after 7:30 giving us lots of time to get there. Unfortunately, we were behind the torch. And the torch moves slow. It was getting later and later, and pretty soon it was becoming obvious that we might not make it. I was nearly in tears. I was watching my Olympic moment just slip away. I put a call in to the Torchbearer Centre to let them know we were on the way but stuck behind the torch. The lady I talked to said she'd let the people know and took my phone number. There I was, sitting in my torchbearer uniform, seeing the torch, and knowing I had to get around it, or my torch dream would be out the window!! Luckily the torch finally took a break and we got around. I arrived at the winery just about five minutes late.

Of course then, I can't find my license and went to get my passport because if you don't have ID, you don't run. Luckily though, I found my license (it fell on the ground outside of the car). So, left the passport with Jeremy and was rushed inside. They were giving out stickers of your torch number. I would be number 079. The 79th person to carry the torch on day 88. I met the mother of the guy who would hand off to me and was told I was handing off to the famous guy (didn't recognize him... oops!!).

Next up, we were given some facts. Over 1 million Canadians applied to be torch bearers. 12000 were chosen. Suddenly the fact that I was chosen seemed special. As well as the fact that I knew two other people who had also been chosen!! They showed us the torch, talked about how it symbolized the different lands that made up our country, and some of the sports in the games. They showed us the way to carry it, and how the flames came out both sides and surrounded a little maple leaf on the back, making a flag. They told us that the torches were all assembled by hand by only six individuals. They were all signed and dated inside. They showed us the inside and how it worked. They talked about how the Olympic flame was kept inside a lantern for travelling and then lit up the torch that was being run. They reminded us how when we were running our segment, we would be the only person in the world carrying the Olympic flame at that moment. After you hand off the flame to the next torch bearer, they shut off your torch pretty quick because again, only one person is carrying it at a time.

We got to hear all sorts of stories of different torchbearers as well as the stories of the people in our group. It was amazing. Everyone had their own reason for applying and for being chosen. It was really neat to be among so many different people. We chatted with the torchbearers in our group and planned our handoffs. They encouraged us to be more creative than a simple high five since it was day 88 and they had seen many thousands of those already.

And then it was time to board our bus. We got on the bus and watched the Cold Play video and some footage from earlier days in the relay. It was so incredibly inspiring. Our hostess, Nathalie, shared various stories from around the country. It was so interesting. The Olympic Torch Relay is all about coming together and peace. And as we watched these clips and heard these stories, I felt such honour that I was to be a part of it.

Then, our bus started dropping people off. We cheered as each torchbearer was dropped with their family and friends. And as we got closer and closer to my stop, I started getting really nervous. My heart was racing and I hadn't been so excited and nervous for something in who knows how long!! Finally it was my turn. I saw my little guys waiting and tears welled in my eyes. Suddenly, it really was happening. I was going to have my moment. I got off and visited with my husband, two little boys, mom and brother.


We chatted, I showed off the torch, took a few pictures and then along came the cyclist to give me my instructions.

Next up the RBC truck passed with their cheering section, and soon after was the Coke truck. Three different Coke people came and gave me a hug and congratulated me. Now, I don't know if they knew I was chosen by Coke or not, but it sure felt nice to get their congrats.

Before I knew it, I was standing in the middle of the road watching the previous runner approach me. Our torches met, and suddenly I was the runner. We did our secret handshake and off I went.

This was it. All those months of waiting and now, there I was, running with the Olympic Flame, in the beautiful interior of BC.

I was beaming on the inside. It's hard to contain that much happiness!!

I had an escort and it almost felt like the secret service was running with me. I chatted with the guy for a moment about what a cool job he had, running with the torchbearers. And then, I saw the guy I was to hand off to, Jay Ingram, who is on Daily Planet on the Discovery Channel. I met with him, lit his torch, then we spun around and off he went.

Moments later my torch was turned off and I was back on a bus. It was fun to be with these torchbearers again and relieve what we had just experienced. We had the chance to write a note in a book with our thoughts on the experience. And soon, we were back at the winery for a short celebration.

I have to extend a huge thanks to my mom because she actually bought my torch for me (I will pay you back, I promise!!). I had figured I didn't really need it, yet after doing this, it was something special that I really did want to take home with me, and on that day, didn't quite have the ability to do so. So, I am forever grateful.

And thank you mom, and Chris for coming out and sharing this experience. It really was special to have you there for one of the coolest moments of my whole life!!

Thank you Peter, for coming out as well!!

And thank you Jeremy for coming and bringing our boys. Thanks for humouring me when I applied to be a torchbearer and supporting me when I actually got picked.

And thank you Coke for choosing me. I will continue to try and be active and inspire those around me. (oh, and I always did like Coke way more than Pepsi, haha)

I am also truly grateful to my friends and family that tuned in to the live feed and sent emails and facebook messages of encouragement. It was so wonderful to hear from so many different people.

This was, by far, one of the neatest things I have ever done in my life. I've run all sorts of races, travelled to all sorts of places, but nothing compares to running with the Olympic Flame in the Vancouver 2010 Olympic Torch Relay. I will likely never get to participate in the Olympics, so this was a way that I could be a part of the Olympics and what they represent. It was my moment, and I will treasure it, forever.

I'm in love with another man...

A few months ago, my husband gave me a cookbook called Cavelove: How To Bake Cakes From Scratch by Warren Brown. This is the guy that was on Oprah awhile back that gave up his law career to start a bakery making cakes from scratch. He's one smart guy. He didn't just pick some random recipes, he would make a recipe then figure out why all the ingredients are needed and tweak things until he had the perfect cake.

And talk about perfection!! Take for example the chocolate pound cake (as pictured above). It's an amazing cake, and the chocolate ganache on top makes a perfect frosting. It's a fantastic cake that's easy to make and results are near perfection. And this happens over and over again in this book. He does a great job on all the cakes, but even more than that, he tells you why things work the way they do. He doesn't just add random ingredients, he has a reason for everything he does. He also explains what those reasons are. I learned a lot from this book about cakes and the various ingredients they include. There are even adjustments for people like me that have to bake at high altitudes.

We have had this book for only a few months now, but have made more than twenty different recipes already between the cakes and the frostings. We have enjoyed them all. The descriptions at the beginning sound as though Warren Brown is talking directly to you and the instructions are straightforward and easy to follow. If you are looking for a new book to add to your collection and have anything of a sweet tooth, this book is worth your time. You will learn not only how to make a really good cake, but why Warren's unique ingredients truly make a difference to the overall taste and enjoyment of the recipes he includes.

I appreciated the lessons on gastronomy but loved indulging in the finished product of those lessons. The cakes are amazing and divided into sections. There are many pound cakes, some of which can be made in a bundt pan or rounds. There are also butter cakes and sponge cakes so certainly enough choice to satisfy your cravings. Some are traditional but others push the boundaries of what is expected in a cake and include ingredients like cayenne, mango and various others. The frostings are excellent although personally, I much prefer the custard based frostings to the traditional buttercreams (I'm pretty sure it has something to do with the fact that the featured ingredient is steeped in the milk!!).

My favourite is probably the chocolate butter cake with coconut buttercream frosting. A close second would be the Boston Cream Downfall (a yellow butter cake with vanilla pastry cream filling and chocolate ganache on top. We made the Boston Cream Downfall for my son's first birthday and topped it with a cookie monster made of rice krispies. Everyone raved about it.


I know that if I reach for this book and make something from it, that I'm bound to please whoever my audience is. I can trust that the recipes will work and the results will be nothing short of spectacular. Warren Brown is gifted and I'm in love with that gift. He has another book coming out in May, called United Cakes of America: Recipes Celebrating Every State and I can hardly wait for that!! I might not be from the USA, but I will certainly celebrate cakes along with Warren Brown!! Thanks for a truly great book!!

Happy 1st Birthday Big Boy!!

Wow, I can't believe you are a year old already. I have to see, it's been an amazing year watching you grow and change!!

Here's you inside my belly at the hospital just before you were born...

And here's you just minutes after you were born...

Being pregnant with you was a breeze. I mean, I was always worried about you since the journey with your brother didn't quite end the way we thought, so having you, we worried about whether or not you'd get sick etc. And really, things weren't perfect either. Halfway through, we found out you had an irregular heart beat. The doctor said it would probably resolve itself, but that medication might be required and worst case scenario, you'd have to have surgery while you were still growing in my belly. You can imagine this was a bit stressful on me!! Well, then I ran the Disneyland Half Marathon. The doctor said to keep an eye on my heart rate and truly, I ended up walking most of the race. It took me 3 hours 29 minutes and 42 seconds (18 seconds to spare since you have to finish in 3 and a half hours to be a legal finisher!!). Well, after the race, your heartbeat was fine, and ever since then it has been fine, so I suppose me having my heartrate at 140 for that length of time helped you figure out how your heart is really supposed to work. See, running fixes everything, hahaha.

We were monitored very closely with you and I got to see you at the ultrasound multiple times. And then, on January 9th last year, we headed to the Rockyview Hospital to welcome you into this world by elective c-section. I didn't really have a choice, so a c-section it was. I had a bit of a rough ride with the anastetic and all that. Let's just say I was sick for a good 24 hours and the recovery after that was slow. But wow, we got to hear you cry!! And daddy got to hold you straight away, and he got to bring you over so I could see you for the amazing little baby you were. Little, who am I kidding, you weighed 8 pounds 13 ounces. And, that was 10 days before your due date!! Although, the ultrasound predicted you'd be a pound bigger. Imagine that!! Well, I got taken to recovery and pretty soon afterwards, your dad and you joined me. I got to try feeding you for the first time, and the three of just hung out (in between my bouts of puking of course). It was so incredible that you got to be with us from the beginning. It was something totally new for us even though you were our second child. I loved that you stayed in the room with me. I did my best to feed you and hold you and do what you needed to be happy. And then, 2 days later, we got to leave, and, we got to take you with us!! It was such an emotional experience to leave the hospital with a baby. It was wonderful!!




At the start, you were pretty much a lump. You didn't do much, just slept and ate. Your big brother wasn't entirely sure what to make of you. Suddenly, he had to share his mom!! But, he asked to hold you and has been pretty fantastic with you. I loved when you started to smile. You have been such a happy baby. I mean, every now and then you have your moments, and you've had your little freakouts, but everyone does, but they are so few and far between. I'm so lucky. You are always smiling and curious about everything.


You quickly adapted to being on your tummy and much preferred to sleep there. You used the Amby bed for about 4 months but then happily preferred a crib after that. You started rolling over, then sitting, then army crawling, which you did for quite awhile, until finally realizing that if you did regular crawling, you could get places faster. You are standing now, and walking along stuff. It won't be long and you'll be walking.



You love playing in the kitchen, taking stuff out of cupboards, banging around pots and pans. You love pushing cars along, which you learned how to do by watching your brother. Really, you pretty much love whatever your brother is doing and strive to do it too. It's pretty cute these days when you try to chase him. You both end up in fits of laughter. You are a bit of a godzilla when it comes to building trains though, and same with towers. I have a lot of fun with you building block towers while you knock them down. That's something that just the two of us do together!!

You have done pretty good for seeing the world already. Your grandma and I went to Europe with you when you were four months old. You were awesome to travel with!! We went to Germany, Austria and France. It was an amazing trip and I couldn't have asked for a better baby on that trip!! You also got to go to Kamloops, Vancouver, Seattle and SunPeaks. That was a road trip with your grandma, brother and me. And, we were lucky that dad came and met up with us for the Vancouver and Seattle part!! It too, was a lot of fun. And then just before Christmas, you went on your first cruise and your second trip to a Disney park (because you'd already been to Disneyland Paris!!). You were great. You loved the verandah in our room, and loved going from outside to inside all by yourself.


And you are quite the little eater. It was very different for us as parents, to feed you. From the very first time we fed you solid food, you've embraced it with both arms (literally). You love eating and are willing to try most things. You also much prefer feeding yourself to letting us help. This is amazing to us as parents. I had no idea a baby could do these things on their own so quickly!!


Sullivan, you are a fantastic little guy. I hope you will always have the same zest for life that you exhibit already. I hope you will continue with that amazing smile. You are a great little guy and it such a pleasure having you in our family. We love you so much and look forward to watching you grow into a little toddler now. I look forward to your first words, and your first steps. Thanks for all the smiles and the laughs. Thanks for being so carefree and loving. You are a sweetheart and we love you more than anything. A very Happy First Birthday to you!!