I think I'm coming out of my slump. I think I just worked too many days in a row, and now that I'm about to have 5 days off, I'm super excited. I also am finished with Sebastian's appointments for now, and the worst of them are behind us now (it's no fun watching him get bloodwork done, or eye drops and the subsequent eye exam, and even the pee bag for the urine sample isn't fun). I have some things to look forward to now.
I am going to a naturopathic doctor tomorrow, and I'm excited for that. Should be interesting.
I am excited for running on Saturday. I went running last night as well, so hopefully running is getting back on track again. I'm excited about that!! Time to really be there for the mentees I'm watching out for.
I'm excited for the Mother's Day run coming up. And the Police Half Marathon.
And the idea of change in my career.
And getting our basement developed.
And taking Cronos to the dog park again.
And just having fun. Planning Sebastian's birthday party. Reading stories with him. Watching Le Master of Disguise (it was on again...we deleted it and wouldn't you know, it was his favourite Backyardigans episode, but now we have it taped again!!)
I love life!!
Monday, February 25, 2008
So lately, I find myself on the doubting side of life in my workplace. It's sort of like every day there's a new thing to get irritated and frustrated by. Well, today, I find myself pleasantly surprised. It's almost as though people listened. This is unheard of in my workplace lately, but it's true. It was like they actually stopped and realized that what they planned to do and what they ought to do just might not be one in the same, and just might not be in the best interests of everyone, and they actually changed their plans. So, I left work actually feeling hopeful. This is the first time I have felt this way in a very long time. I love it.
I love feeling like things might actually improve. Like the time I spent talking with and dealing with people was actual worth it, and like it actual might make a difference. So, for now I remain hopeful for the future. I'm no longer stressed about what might happen to my schedule, because it's almost like there is actual room for improvement!!
Friday, February 22, 2008
Today, I am procrastinating cleaning. I have the child at the dayhome still so I could get stuff cleaned up for the weekend, but here I am, not cleaning. This is me doing whatever I can to not clean. It's silly, really. But I am unmotivated. Still!! I mean, this is a little different. Most people are never that excited to clean, but add this to my lack of motivation to exercise and eat well, and it's still more stuff I don't want to do. I think I will though. I need to. It's just a question of where to start. Do I attack the laundry? The bathrooms? The toys lying around everywhere? Or should I pick some obscure thing that is not that important and clean it, just to avoid the rest of it?? I know, just get out there and do it, but hey, I'm putting it off until the last possible second!!
Thursday, February 21, 2008
I'm not sure what's up right now, but I have absolutely no motivation to exercise or eat well. I don't know if maybe it's the post marathon blues, or the fact that my work environment is anything but positive. Now, don't get me wrong. I love my job. I really love my job. When I am in the middle of doing my job, I'm happy. I work with incredible people. Truly, for a job that is not really dealing with happy situations most of the time (compare this to working at Disney where generally people are happy), I really love what I do. What I can't handle is all the politics and crap that come along with the job. I mean, it's like people sit in their offices trying to dream up what they can do next that will have the most negative impact on the largest number of people. Maybe I am part of some social experiment. Because otherwise, I just cannot understand how this happens. Maybe I am just not seeing the good side of all these decisions, but maybe I'm just too tired of trying to figure out what is trying to be accomplished this time. And then, when it doesn't work, because it didn't the last five times they tried it, trying to come up with some sort of justification for why that had to happen. It's very frustrating. Maybe this is just a sign that I'm in need of some other way to spend hours away from my family while also earning the all mighty dollar which helps us get by day to day. I don't know, but I sure hope I figure that out soon.
In the meantime, I need a way to try and start feeling motivated again. There is a lot going on in my life to be motivated for. Training for a marathon, mentoring first time marathoners, raising my incredible little boy, hanging out with my husband, playing with my dog, visiting with family and friends, training for a new time in a half marathon, fundraising for the unit that saved my son's life. I mean truly, I am so lucky to have the life that I do, that I need to feel more motivated.
In the past week, I have only gone running once. I have had a couple opportunities, but just didn't want to take them. I have also been eating terribly. I mean, I know better, but one night I had pizza, cheesies, chocolate, soda, Starbucks, and probably other stuff, but I am just not remembering. Really, it's just been a bad week for exercise and eating. I know I can start again fresh, but I'm just disappointed in myself for not trying a little bit harder.
But now I must stop. I have a little boy tugging at my arm wanting me to leave the computer, and I don't want to let him down!! So for now, it's off to the circus, or the animal farm, or to watch the Backyardigans, again!!