A jumble of things...

So, yesterday we had our routine ultrasound for our new little munchkin. Of course, nothing seems to be routine with me, and first thing, we get taken into an office with the door closed. They wanted to know my history and about our first child. They discussed the first pregnancy, then asked if we had a child at home. I swear, Sebastian really is a miracle, because this is the third time that we've been asked about whether or not the child made it (and sort of most of the doctors seem to figure he probably didn't). So that was interesting. We did the ultrasound, and then of course, had to meet with the doctor afterwards. Surprise surprise, things are not going along as simple as we'd like. Grrrrrr...very frustrating, because really, I just want this baby to be healthy. Needless to say, the heartbeat is irregular, to the point that we have to go back in two weeks to get it checked on again, and likely about that often from here on in. Now, don't get me wrong. I truly am grateful that we are being watched closely, and obviously getting the care we need, I just wish there wasn't any issues to worry about. This is the second doctor to now mention the possibility of meds, so we'll see what happens in two weeks. Aside from the heartbeat issues though, the baby looks great. The heart itself looks great, we just have to figure out why it keeps misfiring (she used plenty more elaborate words, but that about sums it up). So, as long as that can sort itself out (which it very well could without any intervention), then things are looking good (oh, and did I mention this doctor also went over the first child and asked about his wellness and complications??). I think Sebastian really did the medical community proud and surprised a lot of people, and for that I am so grateful!!

Now, tomorrow, I leave for California. I am so excited. It will be so strange being away from Sebastian, but I think I will have fun. And I know I can call and check on him. Sometimes he will even chat on the phone a bit. I'm going with my half brother and half sister, and we're going to do the Disneyland Half Marathon together. It sounds like they might even stick with me, even though I will just be plugging along at a slow pace. So, we should have a fantastic time (how can you not eating at a Wolfgang Puck restaurant, playing at Disneyland and shopping on Rodeo Drive!!).

Oh, and Prison Break starts again next week. I couldn't be more excited for a tv show to resume. This is of course, the show that stars Wentworth Miller. He's so beautiful to look at. And, his romantic love interest will be back. Seriously, if you have never seen the show, it's great. I highly recommend it!! Oh, and speaking of good tv, there's a new Canadian show called Flashpoint, that basically follows a SWAT team type of thing. It's incredibly well done, and if you didn't know any better, you'd guess it was from one of the big US networks (and that says a lot!!). So it's another one to check out, and if you are from Canada, you can check out the episodes on www.ctv.ca . It's worth a look.

And finally, only 535 days until the Winter Olympics start. I love the winter olympics so much more than the summer ones. So, I can hardly wait. Added bonus they are in Canada, but still.... now if only I can figure out a way to be a part of the torch relay...

The Disney half marathon is approaching...

I leave for Disneyland on Wednesday, and I am so excited. I am heading there with my half brother and half sister. I didn't really grow up with them, so this is a neat opportunity for us to get to know each other and have fun at the happiest place on earth. On the Sunday, we'll be running the Disneyland Half Marathon. I am especially excited for this race. It should be fun. I only hope I can run/walk fast enough to finish in the allotted time.

Today, I ran 7km, and it went well. If I keep a similar pace to today, then I will easily make it. I can't go too fast though, because I don't want my heart rate climbing too high and I don't want to get overheated.

I tried buying some maternity exercise clothes today, but the store I went to only had pants and long sleeve yoga type stuff. I wanted shorts and a tank top of sorts. I did find a cool Bella Belt thing though. It's basically a piece of spandex that goes around your belly. It offers a bit of support and keeps your belly from being exposed, so in the end, it might work perfectly with the clothes I already have.

Now if only I could find the time for a haircut!!

Wentworth Miller is hot...

I think Wentworth Miller is incredibly hot. He has these absolutely mesmerizing eyes and I just love him. If ever there was a day pass, I think it would be him. I love watching Prison Break, just so I can see him. It's great. Now, I know, people have been saying his preference might not be for the female half of the species, but hey, it still doesn't change how hot he is. And it doesn't change the fact that I enjoy the simple pleasure of looking at him. He is my eye candy. And, he's beautiful eye candy. And the show starts again on September 1st. If you haven't watched it, I'd highly recommend it. It's great. The storyline is fantastic, and the love interest might actually be back again this year (and it's a great subplot).

Occupation identity crisis...

So tonight I came into work for overtime. I started out answering calls for Fire/EMS, but it became apparent that the Police side was short, so I was moved over there. The first few times I tried to answer the phone, I couldn't do it properly. I didn't know what to say. I screwed it up royally. Kind of sad that I have done this job for 7 years, yet I haven't answered a police call in two months, and I couldn't even answer it correctly. Well, eventually I settled into it and got it figured out. It was not as fun as I thought though, and completely nonstop. There was no downtime at all. I was exhausted after only 4 hours of that. Thank goodness I got to dispatch for the second half of the shift. Instantly, I was much more comfortable than I was on the phones. It was a real eye opener to see how quickly things become foreign after only being gone for two months. And, balancing a different computer set up was another challenge (and the fact that the computer didn't even accept me as a person anymore). Oh well. I will figure it out, and reclaim my ability to do both jobs, but it's sad that so quickly things were almost a challenge!!

The very cool husband...

So, two really good things happened today. The first was that my very cool husband took my vision and turned it into a reality. I was thinking that I no longer want to store cleaning products under our sink, so that I don't have to worry about my son getting himself into trouble, and thought we could build a shelf on the landing of the stairs. Well, he took my idea and ran with it. And built a set of 3 shelves. It's amazing!! And it's out of the way so nobody will bang their head, and high enough up that Sebastian won't be able to reach it until he's about 10 or so. And it looks so good!! I was very impressed!! He's a genius really.

The other thing that happened was I read about "unwaiting". Now I mentioned before that my pregnancy is having a bit of a tough time. Unfortunately it is something completely out of my control and that I can't do anything to fix. All I can do is wait, and hope that everything resolves itself. This, of course, is easier said than done. Well, I was reading about people who adopt and how they get through the waiting periods, and one family worked very hard to control their impatience and frustration. Rather than concentrate on the negatives, they did their best to simply enjoy what time they had before their life changed forever. I think that is a great attitude.I know I have know control over what's going on with my pregnancy, so rather than dwell on what could happen, I should just enjoy the time I have with Sebastian and Jeremy before the newest member of our family decides to join us. I can't make time go by any faster and I can't change what's happening, so really, I will just enjoy what I have and try my best to not dwell on the scary side of things. It might be easier said than done, but it's certainly worth the effort to try!!

And here's what happened at dinner last night (I posted on the family blog too, but it was just too cute not to pass on).

Mom: Sebastian, how old are you?
Sebastian: Two.
Mom: How old is dad?
Sebastian: Too old.
Mom: No, he's thirty-one.
Dad: How old is mom?
Sebastian: Too old.

What a funny guy he is!!

Trying to get out of the doomsday scenario...

I'm in a bit of a weird place right now. I was at the doctor yesterday for a checkup, to see how our little flutterbug is doing, and low and behold, things are not exactly perfect. I know, it's not a surprise given what happened with Sebastian, yet I still had to hope and believe that maybe things would go smoother this time. Apparently, that is not the case. Apparently, kids start teaching you at a very early age, that you are at their every whim and you might as well worry right from the start. I know it's life, to worry about your kids, but I really hate the added stress of the unknown. 

Oh, and the other thing that drives me insane is how the medical community always finds it necessary to bring up the worst case scenario. I know that most of the time, the worst case doesn't happen, yet there is always such a huge focus on the worst case. I remember this vividly from Sebastian's birth. One number on the labs would be out of whack, and they are already trying to figure out, what the cause is and how to treat it. I remember when they gave us the option of having Sebastian that day, it was not a very pretty picture that they painted. If we chose to continue the pregnancy, our child would die, but if we chose to have the child, the chances of him surviving were slim, and if he did survive, the chances of him having major issues in life were huge. To date, he's two. And, aside from his sucky immune system, which will slowly improve, he is not really showing any signs of significant problems. This is much different than what they told us. Now, I know they have to prepare you for the worst, but why is it, when you are being told of the worst, it's almost all you can think about? 

I will try to be positive and not worry, but it's virtually impossible to do. I find it so tough that there is nothing I can do to change what's happening and that all I can do, is sit, wait and hope for the best. It's tough when things are out of your control.

Books paint this beautiful picture of what it is like to be pregnant. Reality, however, is not as simple as these books make it out to be. It's like you aren't allowed to talk about the tough parts of pregnancy. You should just gloss it over and act like everything is fine. After all, we don't want to scare the ones coming along after us. But everything is not always fine. Why is it though, that nobody really shares the scary parts. I certainly can't forget them and if someone else is going through a similar situation, would gladly offer a shoulder to lean on (or let's face it, cry on), since it's something that nobody tells you about ahead of time!!

Oh well, I will stop now. I don't want to be all doom and gloom. There is still a great possibility that no real issue will present itself, but in the meantime, I will work to be positive and concentrate on that likelihood, rather than focussing on what might happen. It just makes it hard to enjoy being pregnant!! I guess I'll just put on a cute pregnancy top and make like everything is fine. Grrrr!!

Oh the drama of being two...

I'm feeling a little sad right now. I just dropped Sebastian off at his new dayhome. He has not been very happy lately when we drop him off (tears streaming down face, grabbing onto your leg for dear life etc). I feel so terrible leaving him like that. We've been taking him 4 days a week just to get him used to it. Today was the first day for this week though, and surprise, surprise, it didn't go well. At least he's happy when we pick him up, but still, it sucks seeing him upset like that. I know that patience is the word of the day, but it's tough seeing him so upset. His early intervention person says it is perfectly normal though, so I guess I shouldn't worry too much. I'll take him to the park when I pick him up, and do fun stuff with him after the fact but geesh, if only he could pretend like he is not so devastated by my departure. 

In the meantime, I will spend the afternoon trying to declutter more of our basement. I really want to get that developed, and the only way that is going to happen is if we can get rid of some more stuff. If only I wasn't so good at procrastinating and was actually doing that now, instead of writing here. Oh well, hopefully it's my next stop. The list for today is long: laundry, moving toys out of our front room to a big bin downstairs, going through shelves, taking in the recycling, moving shelves around, getting groceries, doctor appointment, watering plants at my brother's place, etc. We'll see how it goes...

Pirates and Rats...

By now, you have probably figured out that I have a love for Disney. My brother would probably say that I am obsessed, but I am nowhere near like I used to be. However, on our last trip to Disney (in January), we bought a couple of costumes. One for me, and one for Sebastian. This year, will be his third Halloween. So far he's been a cow, and a skunk (which he absolutely hated). So, I figured, since he was going to be a rat this year, from Disney's Ratatouille no less, that I should try and introduce him to the costume slowly, so that he'd be excited about it. So, the other day, I pulled it out of the closet and showed it to him. He was immediately excited and wanted to put it on. He loved it!! He's worn it a few times since then, and just loves it. When he first goes to put it on, he says "hi Ratatouille" and gives the costume a big hug. I think he thinks that it really is a character. It's so cute!! 

Needless to say, if Sebastian was dressing up, I figured I better dress up too. I went into my closet and pulled out my Jack Sparrow pirate costume. Sebastian was so excited that we dressed up together in costumes. So, I have high hopes for this year on Halloween. I think he'll have fun in his costume. And, of course, I'm thrilled because FINALLY, he is wearing a Disney costume. Yippee!!

I can hardly wait for dinner!!

So tonight I am very excited for dinner. We're having East Indian takeout. I love East Indian. I really do. I think it's my favourite cuisine of all time. Butter chicken, samosas with tamarind sauce, fresh baked Garlic Naan, eggplant bartha, malai kofta...my mouth is watering just thinking of it. And we're going to a super fantastic place that I absolutely love, that I probably haven't been to in about 5 months or more. So, it's long time overdue.

Dayhome difficulties and random thoughts...

So, Sebastian is going to a new dayhome now. His old dayhome moved away and now he is trying to adjust to the new one. It's not going super great so far, but some days are better than others. This morning I had breakfast with him, talked about what he'd do there, while he insisted he was not going there. Eventually he gets his shoes on, walks out to the car, does fine. Walks up to the house, but as soon as the door opens, he has tears streaming down his face. It really makes me feel like I'm this terrible parent for leaving him there. He's always fine when we pick him up, but boy oh boy, dropping him off is just heart breaking. But, it took him about 8 months to feel comfortable at the first place, so really, it will take a bit to adjust here too!!

On a happier note, I've been listening to my U2 list on my ipod. I love U2. It's funny though, because I find that I seldom choose to listen to them, despite them being one of my favourite bands. So, it's been such a treat hearing all these different songs "With Or Without You", "Bad", "Beautiful Day", "Staring At The Sun", and all kinds of others. I love it!! I can hardly wait to get back in my car and listen to more!!

My decluttering is going well. Yesterday, I managed to get about 3 bags of trash/recycling out of our office. We bought a mac two years ago and we have never moved the PC off the desk. Seriously, we don't use it. So finally yesterday, the PC went away. And now the desk looks great. The hardest thing though, is trying to pare down books. I love books and never want to get rid of any, but managed to find a bunch that I really might never read again. For me, that's huge!!

Oh well, that's all. The mole didn't end. I have to watch again next week. Grrrrrr... Well, at least fall tv isn't too far away. I haven't been watching much, but am looking forward to a the return of a couple shows!!

Camping...

So, we just got back from a weekend of camping. It was a lot of fun. Sebastian was great on the hike we did to the upper falls of Johnson Canyon. He was in the baby backpack the whole way there (yes, I lugged the heavyweight all 3km) while my husband kept the dog in check. 

I love camping. I have only ever done the whole tenting thing, and usually more the backcountry, carry everything with you type of thing. Since having a child however, backpacking has taken a back seat to car camping. It's nice though, having the convenience of a car and the ability to stop by a store for more supplies. I'm a little more aware of my surroundings however and the possibility of wildlife approaching. Now that I have a little one to watch out for, I want to make sure I've done everything I can to protect him from any chance encounters. Thus, the dog slept in the back of the Golf. And we were careful to put away any food products so that we wouldn't have any bear encounters. Of course I love the fun fuzzy creatures, but prefer to see them from the comfort of my car, at a safe distance, or in the zoo, so that I am not in danger and I am not putting the bear in any kind of danger. We did see one bear, driving along the Bow Valley Parkway, so it was a reminder that they are there, and to be careful to keep things away. 

I hope Sebastian will love camping because I plan to take him backpacking when he gets older. I want him to appreciate the amazing scenery that is his backyard (the Rocky Mountains). People travel from around the world to see them, but we are fortunate enough to have them right here to enjoy whenever we want. 

Oh well, must go watch the Mole now. It's the last show I think...