Short conversation with a toddler...

Sebastian: mommy, play with me
Mommy: I need to clean up first
Sebastian: no, I make things messy
Mommy: well, we have to clean up a bit and then I'll play with you
Sebastian: play with me now (as he's dumping out his fingerpuppets all over the floor)
Mommy: now I have more things to clean up
Sebastian: I like messy

What's a girl to do!!

The second run...

In the midst of another deep freeze (it is minus twenty-one outside), I completed another run on the treadmill. It was again, a combination of running and walking, but it went well. In total I completed 6.43 kilometres in forty-five minutes. I know that isn't super fast, but it's pretty reasonable, given that I'm just starting out again, and given that it's a mix of running and walking. I got the first five kilometres done in 32 minutes and was pretty happy with that.

I love how I feel when I am done my workout. I love that it feels like I actually worked. I love that my heart rate was high and that I was pushing myself. I love knowing that the workout is over and I can enjoy the rest of my day without the workout looming off in the distance, with a fear of it getting missed because more stuff comes up. That was the beauty of running in the morning. Unfortunately, it can't happen like that all the time. Often, I will have to wait for Jeremy to return to get the workout in, which means the evening. But, when I can, I will workout earlier in the day simply because it gets it done for the day.

I am so excited to get the program next week. I have never met with a trainer before and I have high hopes that it is exactly what I need to get to where I want to go. I know I can do stuff on my own, but the idea of someone out there to be accountable to has serious merit. So, here's hoping I don't let my trainer, or myself, down!! Now the big question is... which race will be my sub hour 10km....

Crunch time...

Well, I got the all clear from the doctor to start exercising again. So, last night I did a combination of running and walking on the treadmill. It felt so good to get my heartrate going again. As well, I had a whole new playlist to run too, and it was fantastic. I am so impressed with all the different songs that people told me to listen to. It was a great way to add some new life to my workouts. I went a total distance of 5.82km including the warm up and cool down. It was great. I loved it. I was so happy to be moving again. I start with my trainer on Monday, so only a few days left without an official program. I am quite excited to begin though.

In the meantime, I'm trying to decide if I should lay it all out on the line. You know, starting weight, measurements, all that sort of thing. I'd like to, but part of me is also chicken of sharing all that information. But really, it is who I am, so I am not so sure what I am afraid of. I know though, that I don't want to be those numbers forever. I really do want to lose 40 pounds, and not just the pounds from the baby, because most of that weight is gone already, and now it's back to where I was before I got pregnant in the first place (well, a little heavier, but not too much).

I signed up for a run in Banff in September. It's a super popular run, and it was sold out by 10am. So, I am really glad I remembered (and Jeremy helping at 5am didn't hurt either!!). I love the run, Melissa's, and can hardly wait for it. Perhaps I'll even be faster this year than I ever have been before. Time will tell for sure... and the trainer should help that as well!!

No time for anger...

So, last night, I was angry at my husband. It wasn't for anything super serious, but he wanted to go out and grab some groceries. We sort of chatted and agreed to have one of us go after we put Sebastian to bed. However, it didn't quite happen that way. Due to too much computer time, Sebastian's bedtime ended up being later than it might have been, so by the time Jeremy decided he needed to go out, it was right in the middle of the bedtime routine. He got grumpy, so I got grumpy. He said he wasn't going, but then I said he should. And, he did.

So, cut to a half hour later. I am trying to read stories to Sebastian while the baby is crying because he's hungry but wants to eat downstairs like he always does. Jeremy comes home in the midst of the crying stories, and tries to help. By now I'm grumpy and angry at him because of the whole situation.

Now it is today. And looking back, it's pretty minor in the grand scheme of things, but I shouldn't have let it get me angry. Because, afterwards, I was grumpy and did not really want to hang out with Jeremy. So, rather than enjoying the rest of the evening together, I sat there with this anger. What a waste of emotion. I should have allowed myself to get slightly annoyed, and then just shrugged it off and enjoyed my evening. But for some reason I let it bring me down for the whole night.

People are so quick to get angry and mad and annoyed and all those negative emotions. Normally, I do a pretty good job of not letting things get to me, yet for some reason, yesterday, anger took centre stage. Today, I am annoyed that it did. Truly, there really was not much of a reason. Likely, it was the whole entire day all rolled into the end of it. Throw in the lack of sleep and I was just not thinking clearly. Next time though, I'd like to think that I won't let anger beat me. It's not worth it. I got nothing out of being grumpy last night, except that I probably made Jeremy grumpy too. And, that's really not healthy for either of us.

So, next time, I will try very hard to not let something so trivial grate on me. Normally it doesn't so again, it shouldn't be so hard to do. After all, spending your days being grumpy and mad at the world really doesn't get you anywhere!!

A social butterfly... or not...

So, yesterday, my friend was kind enough to have a shower for our little baby (who, by the way, at 6 weeks old and 12lbs, 12oz), is actually not that little). It was really nice to see a wide variety of people, some of whom, we haven't seen since the baby was born. I had a nice time, but worried afterwards that I didn't really get to visit with everyone.

I'm best in situations with only a couple people to visit with, and when there is a whole group, I am not always sure the best way to get a chance to talk to everyone. If it is only a few people, I can visit fine and do well. Past that though, and I'm never quite sure the best way to handle things. Afterwards, I almost always feel like I never really visited with everyone, or didn't spend enough time with everyone. Maybe this is totally normal, who knows.

In a case like this, the people came from different parts of my life. There were some work friends. There were some kid friends. There were some relatives. There were some people that I've been friends with since university. There were people I met through running. Because of this, many people didn't know the other people. Mostly though, everyone knew someone. One thing that was neat was seeing how some of the people got to meet each other (ie one friend is building a house, as is my brother, so they were chatting, another friend was from the same town, so they got to chatting, another friend works in the same industry as me so she could relate to the work people). It was fun that people interacted that way, but hope that everyone had fun.

Oh well, I like getting together with people, I just don't always know if I do the best job of it when it's big groups.

The trainer...

It's official. I have a personal trainer now. My first session is on the 2nd of March. I still need to get the go ahead from the doctor next week, but really, that should not be an issue.

I'm excited. I mean, really excited. I think it is going to be lots of fun. Well, in that exercise until you can't take it anymore, but feel so good after it's done kind of way. I need to work hard. I want to work hard. And now I will have someone to help me do just that. I can hardly wait!! She's already putting my program together with the goals I have set for myself and that should be good. One of the biggest goals I have is to run a 10km race in under an hour. I have never done this. I have come close, but not quite. I've done a 5km in under 28 minutes, but haven't translated that yet into a 10km under an hour. But I will... and this just may be the ticket I needed to get that done...

Just one step...

How do you accomplish your goals? What steps have you taken to reach your goals? Do you even know what your goals are? Many people have goals, or ideas of goals they would like to have. Most are too afraid to write them down. People figure if they write them down, and then don't achieve them, they will be all disappointed in themselves. But perhaps it is better to look at from the other side. If you don't write your goals down, how will you remember what your goals are. We only get one shot at this lifetime, and I would hate to think that I missed out on something because I forgot it was something I really wanted to do.

And seriously, life is very busy. We all have way more on our plates than we really have time for, and there are many things that get pushed to the side and forgotten about. Near the top of that list, of course, is our dreams and goals. We get caught up in the here and now, and forget to think about the things we always wanted to do or try. Goals don't have to be huge. Maybe there is a style of food you've always wanted to try but never have. What is stopping you from making that reservation and trying it out on Friday night? Or maybe you always wanted to learn how to tap dance. Take a lesson, seriously, then you will know if it's something you want to do more of. But maybe your dream is to scuba dive off in the Cayman Islands. It seems like a big huge goal, but is it really? Maybe this summer you can take a scuba course. Just search for scuba lessons in your city. And, then sign up for the course. In the fall or winter, maybe you'll head to an all inclusive, or go on a cruise. Look into the excursions, or plan one on your own. Suddenly, it's next year, and you really did accomplish one of your big goals.

So, take one step towards a goal you have. Write down that goal. Make it visible in your home. Put it on your blog. Make it part of your facebook profile. Tell a supportive friend or family member. Suddenly, your goal has life. It's one step, but it will make you excited to take the next step. And, each small step leads you one step closer to actually reaching your goal. Don't be afraid. You can do it. You should do it. You WILL do it!!

Life's List...

Lately, I have been focusing on my list of things to accomplish in this lifetime. It is a fairly lengthy list. I began the list about fifteen years ago, and have added to it over the years.

Travel is a big part of it. There are many different places that I want to see and things I want to do in some of these places. I have accomplished some of them, like walking across the Golden Gate Bridge and going to the Love Parade in Berlin, but there are many more. I want to visit Norway, Sweden and Finland. I want to go to Machu Picu. I want to take the Orient Express. I want to go to Egypt and see the pyramids. I want to scuba dive in the ocean somewhere. I want to climb to the top of some mountains (I've done a few smaller ones, but need a bigger challenge sometime).

And then, aside from places, there are things. Like learning to play the piano better. I want to work my way through some of the piano grades. I want to learn how to knit a sweater. I want to speak another language well, and more than just French (which I was okay at, at one point in my life). Russian, German, Spanish, etc. I want to take another photography course. I want to earn a fine arts degree. I want to live in the Caribbean.

As for fitness, I have run a 3km, 5km, 10km, half marathon, marathon, and even the marathon and a half challenge. But, next up it's triathlon. And then I'll want to do the Escape from Alcatraz one, and of course at some point an Ironman. And I'd like to try paragliding. I saw this once about twenty years ago, and thought it looked so neat, but still have yet to try it. The goals never end.

And this is just scratching the surface. It's fun working on this list. It is nice to see that I have done some of my goals, and it's fun taking steps towards the next ones. It's been neat hearing other people's goals as well. And let's face it, I might not accomplish everything I set out to, but if I even do half the stuff on my list, then my life is kind of neat, and my sons will see that they can do whatever they set their minds too (and will likely be coming up with their own lists in the meantime).

So, feel free to share some of your dreams or goals. I'd love to hear them and be inspired by you.

Finding a trainer...

In so many areas of life, when we are not sure how to do something, we will find an expert to help us out. Not sure how to fix the washing machine? Call a repairman. Don't know how to decorate a cake? Buy a book. Want to learn to play the piano? Take piano lessons. So, when the time comes to embark on a new exercise program, it would make sense to hire a personal trainer. I have goals and I want someone who can set me up on the road to achieve them.

I am excited because I think I found the perfect company to go through. I once did a class with the owner of the company and it was tough. I mean, we're talking Jillian on the Biggest Loser tough. So, when my husband suggested that if I wanted a trainer, to try her company, it made perfect sense. I've been learning about it through email and just the emails have got me excited. Just the idea of having a trainer has me pumped and ready to hit the track. So much so, that I am even dreaming about exercise now. How scary is that.

So, although I know a lot about running, and a lot about exercise, I know there are still many things that I could learn. And, because of that, I will let an expert set me up on the road to success. That way, in six months or a year, when I'm looking back on this post, with a faster running time in my arsenal, and my first set of goals achieved, I will know that I made the right decision.

The snow falls down... and the hug...

Sometimes life just gets busy. And, when life is busy, it can be hard to notice the little things. We get so wrapped up in getting things done and being behind on laundry and cleaning up, and we look around, and see toys, clothes, whatever, all over the floor. It seems like we'll never catch up on the cleaning and projects that we have built into our minds that need to be done. And because of all this busyness, we fail to notice the beautiful parts of life around us.

Take for example the snow. Today I am looking outside and the snow is falling. It is really beautiful, and I'm trying to appreciate it. It's easier to do that today, because I don't have to go anywhere, so I don't have to drive or be on icy roads. But even in my life, it feels like there is so much to do that often I don't take time to enjoy these moments.

Another example was this morning. My 2 and a half year old son was upset because I wouldn't let him bring a bunch of toys up from the basement. It was time to eat and I was focused on getting breakfast into him. He's a skinny little kid and needs every calorie I can get into him. I made his breakfast, but he didn't want it, and proceeded to cry. I was being stern with him, and then he said "give me a hug mommy" between his sobs while clutched to my leg. I looked down at this little boy and immediately stopped being the mean mom trying to get him to come sit for breakfast, picked him up and gave him a big hug. It was great. Of course he continued to cry, so I told him he didn't need to eat if he didn't want to. Then he asked for another hug. This time, I knelt down and gave him a hug at his level, and wiped away his tears. It made him feel better, and truth be told, it made me feel better too.

I had a rough night last night with the baby being up for what felt like most of the night, and I just wanted to get the day going and start in on the mammoth list of things that never seem to get accomplished. But, my son reminded me that sometimes you need to just stop and have a hug. That sometimes it doesn't matter how much needs to get done, nothing can be more important than a simple hug. So, thank you Sebastian, for reminding me. Thank you for giving a hug in return. I am so lucky to have you!! And now, back to my regular scheduled program... with maybe a couple more hugs thrown in, because really, that is what it is all about anyways!!

You must see this movie!!

Today I had the pleasure of seeing "slumdog millionaire" and I absolutely loved it. It was the ultimate feel good movie. You will leave the theatre feeling good. It was fabulous. So, I say, take the time and go to it. It will be worth the money you pay to see it, and it will be worth the time you spend to watch it. The soundtrack is fantastic as well. My personal favourite song is "Paper Planes" by M.I.A. but really, all the songs are fantastic. Everything about the movie is fantastic and I truly hope it wins some of the many Oscars it was nominated for. So, if you see no other movie this year, take the time and see this one, you'll thank me for it!!

Melissa's Road Race registration...

So, I am hoping to once again do the road race in Banff. I must remember to sign up online. It fills up really fast. Probably, because it is one of the most beautiful runs out there. So, I will mark my calendar for February 25th, and make sure I sign up. Well, I might mark my calendar for the 24th, just so I don't forget to sign up on the 25th. It's a great race, and it offers a choice of 10km or 22km. Only once have I done the 22km, it was my first half marathon and a huge learning opportunity for me. I was totally ill prepared for the energy I would consume and it took me forever to finish. Someday I may do the 22km again, but I didn't find it nearly as scenic as the 10km. Of course the 10km has a huge hill and it's rather humorous watching some of the people reach their limit on the hill, not realizing just what was involved, but the view at the top, is so totally worth the climb. So again, this year I will hope to sign up for the 10km version of the run. And we'll go out in September, and spend the morning enjoying the mountains, getting in a run, and having the world's greatest cheerleaders at the finish to cheer me on (thanks Jeremy, Sebastian, and Sullivan!!)

Want to learn more? Check out the website by clicking here!! And if you are running it, let me know because hopefully I will see you there!!

Being inspired...

There is inspiration all around me. I love it. In the form of television shows, in the form of people I know, in the form of books. It's easy to find some inspiration to get motivated on something. 

My next big plan is to start running (gee, there is a shock, I haven't mentioned that before!!). It's now less than three weeks until I can run again (provided the doctor says it's fine, which I am sure she will!!). So, gearing up to that, I have begun to do a little bit of walking, and it is just fantastic!! It's so nice to be moving and sets an excellent example for my boys. I plan to walk again today... we'll see. My mom is making it even more possible. She gave me a very cool gift, in the form of a new seat for our stroller. I had a one kid stroller, but the beauty of it, is, with an extra seat, it becomes a two kid stroller, so now, I can put both boys in it and head out the door. I think maybe we'll go to the park, or maybe to the gym so that Sebastian can run around a bit. All depends on if they have the open time for toddlers. 

I hope to find myself a trainer in the next couple weeks. My husband gave me personal trainer money for Christmas, and I intend to put it to good use, with someone who will push me like Jillian on the biggest loser. I want someone to help me put together some goals and a plan to achieve them. For now I need to start researching which races I want to train for. 

I need to get inspired to eat better. I'm not sure where that motivation will come from. I will still enjoy little treats, in moderation of course, but need to find some good meals that are quick and easy to make and full of veggies and other good stuff. I need to remind myself that the higher quality fuel (food) I consume, the better I will be running as a person. And, the easier the exercise becomes since I have the most efficient fuel going in. And really, I should clean out my cupboards and get rid of some of the less efficient stuff...