Feeling the stress...

So, I thought I was doing pretty good with this pregnancy, but it turns out it really is stressing me out. Even though I know things are totally different this time, I thought I was done with being worried, but apparently that is not the case.

Take yesterday for example. I am now wondering if the baby is moving as much as it used to. I know Sebastian sort of stopped moving all together, and this guy seems to be moving way less that it used to. I go to the doctor this morning, so that will help a bit. Overall though, I just can't get out of my head the idea that things could wrong. Probably part of the problem is that we have hit the 28 week mark, and that was the week that Sebastian was born. I know it's a different pregnancy, I know that things have looked very good up until now, but I just can't shake the feeling that things could go wrong. That sucks because usually I'm a fairly positive and upbeat person, but this is seriously bringing me down a bit. 

I know I need to concentrate on things happening in my life and appreciate them, and I do, but I also have this whole thing in the background and it won't go away. My husband tries to be all nice, but I don't need to hear that everything will be all right. I need to hear that it's okay to be stressed and okay to be worried. That it's perfectly normal given our history. 

I had nightmares last night about the whole thing, when I actually fell asleep, since mostly I tossed and turned all night trying to decide if the baby was moving enough or not. It didn't help that I had a screaming headache yesterday either. At least the headache seems to be gone this morning!! And it's only a couple more hours until the doctor, and maybe she can put some of these crazy fears and worries to rest. 

In the meantime, we're going to eat breakfast now, and maybe, if I can wrap my head around how a two year old thinks (or a husband for that matter), I might be able to find Sebastian's glasses that mysteriously disappeared on Saturday when the two of them went to have a nap. 

Grizzly Bear Brown...

So, this weekend, we had some time to ourselves, as Chris and Jeff took Sebastian to the zoo on Saturday morning. They had a great time, and we were left with time to fill without a child around. We went down to MEC, searching for blue fleece pants for Sebastian, but of course they were out of his size, grrrrrr. We also looked around the Cookbook Company since they always have really neat stuff. After that, we went for lunch. We decided to go to a little diner, and put our name on the waiting list. It's super small, and there were already about 15 people waiting out front. So, while we were waiting, we went to the paint store next door, we looked around. Mostly, we were there to kill time. But, in the end, we decided to buy a can of Grizzly Bear Brown Aura paint, by Benjamin Moore. We've been wanting to paint our front room, so figured we might as well just get around and do it. We put the paint into the car, and headed back to the diner, but it was still going to be at least another half an hour, so we ended up leaving and going to Tommy Burger instead. It's a high end sort of burger eatery. It was fantastic and totally hit the spot!!

After that, we met up with the boys and just chatted for awhile. In the evening, we hung out, searching for painting tape and could not find any. We ended up sorting through one of the cupboards in our kitchen (random, I know, but that's how I clean best, hahaha). 

In the morning today, Jeremy went and got some painting tape, and we prepped the room for painting. It went very smoothly, and the paint was great. Only two coats and it looks pretty good (of course I am a little biased, since I did most of the painting). It's such a nice change!! And, the paint was low VOC, so it didn't even smell like paint in the house. Sweet!! I'd use that paint again anytime!!

Had a nice evening with Jeremy's mom coming over for dinner. Sebastian had her reading him all sorts of books!! It was nice. And that's all I've got for now!!

Yippee!!

So, I just got back from a morning of appointments. I had an ultrasound this morning. I have been a bit uneasy about this particular ultrasound because this is about the time that things went not so well with Sebastian. So, I just needed to get through this one to feel better about how things were progressing. And, things went well!! The baby is looking good. Measuring a bit on the large side as a matter of fact (95th percentile!!). That is so the completely opposite problem of last time. At this point last time, Sebastian was probably pretty close to his birth weight of 830grams, which is what this kid weighed 3 weeks ago. Now, this new kid is checking in at around 3 pounds or so (1300-1400grams). What kind of craziness is that!! It probably took Sebastian more than 2 months to get to that weight!! The doctor said that the bigger the baby, the better the outcome in the big picture, so I can't complain!! And, since this will be a c-section, it's not like I will have to get all freaked out about how a large baby will actually be born since they just cut the kid out anyways!! 

So, I followed up the ultrasound with my gestational diabetes screen. The one where you drink a super sweet soda and then wait an hour and get your blood sugars checked. I had a magazine with me, so I could pass the time, and sort of jumped the queue a little (I decided to ask if I could just drink the stuff, rather than wait for my number to come to just drink and then wait an extra hour still). And, since when I arrived, they were serving #119 and I had #143, it was a good decision. I drank my liquid, and it took well after half an hour before I would have even been called!! And, lucky for me, this lab tech got the vein on the first try. The last two times have not gone well with multiple tries being needed and lots of pokes. So I was very grateful. Nearly spoke too soon though, as the first vial filled right away, and he almost needed to poke me again to get the last 4mls. I mean, 4mls!! Geesh. Luckily, we just waited an extra minute or two and very very slowly, it filled up. This might be why I don't get on so well trying to give blood since my circulatory system seemingly has a mind of it's own!! 

Either way, the morning went well and I feel SOOOOO much better now about this pregnancy. 

A new kind of problem for me...

So, I have now passed the 27th week of my pregnancy, and I am experiencing something I never have before. A belly. I mean, I have always had a bit of an extra bit of flesh hanging around my middle, but this child truly is taking up a lot of space and pushing my belly to new limits. When I was pregnant with Sebastian, I never even changed out of my work clothes. I really only sort of looked pregnant. He was born at 28 weeks. I have been wearing maternity clothes to work now for at least 6 weeks, maybe longer, and in the last 3 weeks, my belly really popped out, to the point where it actually gets in the way. Can you imagine, I go to close a door, and misjudge how far out my belly sticks and don't have enough space to close the door without moving first. Or, trying to tie up my shoes, that is starting to become a challenge. It's scary to think I will continue to grow even bigger still, and this problem should only get worse. I am very grateful for this problem however. It means the baby is growing, and since Sebastian stopped growing at some point, I am glad that I continue to expand. It's funny that something so little actual means more because I never got to the point last time where my belly interfered with anything. So, I will continue to figure out ways to remember my belly and make accommodations so that it too fits into whatever it is I am doing!!

Solution based questioning...

I am in the middle of a hostage negotiation conference right now and I am just loving it. Truly. I have learned so much in the last two days, and still have another entire day to learn yet. It is fantastic. We've been going through some speakers doing case studies on various types of negotiations and it's so interesting. But also, there are some speakers there to offer more skills for your tool box. 

Today for example, the life coach was all about Solution Based Negotiating. It was amazing. How to turn the most negative things into opportunities for reflection and hope. It's a total shift in how to think about things and an amazing way to develop a relationship with someone in crisis. Yet, as the session progressed, it seemed to me, this is truly a skill that should be used in every day life, and not just in crisis. A shift in perspective. Taking an otherwise negative statement and finding a way to get something out of it. For example, if someone tells you their life is screwed up, rather than saying "wow, so I see you aren't happy with your life, that is too bad", you could try something like this "you are telling me that you aren't happy with your life, which makes it clear to me you'd like things to be different". Doesn't that sound so much more engaging? Okay, maybe I'm not quite getting the message across the way the speaker did, but it's sort of like that anyhow. What a huge difference it could make to how people address things. I'm going to work on this in my personal life I think!!

Ramblings from a way to busy life...

I am not really sure what to type today, but haven't actually typed anything in awhile so thought I should come up with something. Life has been busy lately. I thought it was supposed to slow down after the Labour Day weekend, but it is not really showing any signs of stopping. Now, that's okay. I don't mind being busy, but I would sure like some down time to try and get things a little more organized around the house for when the baby arrives. I have some serious decluttering I want to accomplish, but not really the time to do it lately. Now, assuming this baby stays healthy, I will have a month before the baby arrives, but if this baby happens to make an early arrival like Sebastian did, then that would not quite be the case. So, I'm hoping for the longer pregnancy, since that is better for the baby anyways, and gives me time to get organized in December. Of course in December I'll be busy with Christmas cards and baking, and planning a Christmas party and that sort of thing, but hey, maybe I can squeeze in a few minutes here and there to declutter, or get the next room ready for the baby or something like that!!

I'm excited though, as my plans for volunteering at the hospital are starting to fall into place again. There was a wonderful parents group with the Neonatal Unit, but then some staffing changes sort of derailed the whole thing, so the parents who are left and still want to help are only now finding the opportunity again. Oh well, better late than never I suppose!!

Sebastian continues to be fun and I enjoy spending time with him. We had a very lazy morning today, but did manage to play outside a bit before lunch. Now if only I could get myself motivated while he's napping to clean up around here. But, the idea of a nap is sounding awfully good right about now (being tired is pretty normal with pregnancy, right??). 

Oh well, I'm counting down the days until Bolt comes out. It's a new Disney movie and I will take Sebastian to it. It is about a puppy so it's absolutely perfect!!

And I am enjoying the fall tv season. Trying not to spend too much time on shows. But enjoying the ones I do watch. Grey's Anatomy, Law and Order SVU, Biggest Loser (which, at the moment has me finding high calorie snacks to enjoy as I watch these people toil away to lose pounds... but hey, I won't be toiling away at my weight until about the end of February, so might as well give myself extra pounds to take off, hahaha). 

In the meantime, I love my Sigg water bottle. When we were in the mountains a couple weeks ago, I got a new top for it, and love it way more than the one it came with. Today, Sebastian and I were sipping out of our Sigg bottles together. He has a mini one with puppies, and I have a bit bigger one with a map of the world on it. 

A super fantastic day...

I loved today. I loved so many things about it. It was a day off, that helps. But Sebastian and I had plans!! We slept in a bit (oops!!), but were dressed and ready for early intervention. The visit was fantastic. She brought some activities she thought might be too advanced for him, but he rocked them all!! And he was so conversational and it went great. 

Once that appointment was over, we headed up to a nearby park. The weather was perfect. It was nice and sunny, and the temperature was great. I got to visit with a friend who treated me to a Starbucks (how much better can a day get really when you get a nice hot chai to drink while chatting). Sebastian did well at the park and even interacted and followed the other boys. Not to mention the part where my friend's little guy came running over to Sebastian shouting out his name when we arrived. And, we timed the visit perfectly, because not long after getting home, some freak wind and rain storm blew in. 

Sebastian ate really well, and although fought the nap a little, eventually went to sleep (the threat of missing swimming was apparently a good one). And while he was napping, I got to work on some photos of him and some playlists for my ipod (ah, adult time!!). He got up, we played, snacked and then headed off for swimming lessons. The lessons were okay, except for the part where some older child pooped in the pool so aside from some time in the hot tub, there was no lesson really. Oh well, Sebastian and his dad had a few minutes in the hot tub anyhow!!

Dinner was good (he really did eat amazing today!!). Then I coloured with him, read stories, gave him a bath and we had a snack while watching the Backyardigans. He was so well behaved today and we just had a fun day together. It's one of the best days I have had with him. We were best buddies today and I love that he's old enough now to truly have fun with. Now I'm just waiting for him to be old enough for lego... then, I tell you, the fun will be even more!!

What a wonderful world it could be...

So, my work life has been frustrating me so much lately that it got me wondering what would happen if people who were promoted really were the best people for the job. Now, I'm not saying that all of the management types out there are bad, but it seems so many times, that the person that advances, it not the best person for the job, but rather the person who did the most sucking up or brown nosing, or whatever you want to call it, while the really hard dedicated workers, were too busy working to suck up. 

What would happen, if the people who were the most dedicated and best workers actually got promoted. The ones who understand the day to day operation. The ones who "get it". If these were the people in positions of power, I think most companies would run so much better. It's just a thought. I know it will never happen, ever, but hey, it never hurts to imagine what could be!!