Take yesterday for example. I am now wondering if the baby is moving as much as it used to. I know Sebastian sort of stopped moving all together, and this guy seems to be moving way less that it used to. I go to the doctor this morning, so that will help a bit. Overall though, I just can't get out of my head the idea that things could wrong. Probably part of the problem is that we have hit the 28 week mark, and that was the week that Sebastian was born. I know it's a different pregnancy, I know that things have looked very good up until now, but I just can't shake the feeling that things could go wrong. That sucks because usually I'm a fairly positive and upbeat person, but this is seriously bringing me down a bit.
I know I need to concentrate on things happening in my life and appreciate them, and I do, but I also have this whole thing in the background and it won't go away. My husband tries to be all nice, but I don't need to hear that everything will be all right. I need to hear that it's okay to be stressed and okay to be worried. That it's perfectly normal given our history.
I had nightmares last night about the whole thing, when I actually fell asleep, since mostly I tossed and turned all night trying to decide if the baby was moving enough or not. It didn't help that I had a screaming headache yesterday either. At least the headache seems to be gone this morning!! And it's only a couple more hours until the doctor, and maybe she can put some of these crazy fears and worries to rest.
In the meantime, we're going to eat breakfast now, and maybe, if I can wrap my head around how a two year old thinks (or a husband for that matter), I might be able to find Sebastian's glasses that mysteriously disappeared on Saturday when the two of them went to have a nap.