Thursday, February 21, 2008

Completely unmotivated...

I'm not sure what's up right now, but I have absolutely no motivation to exercise or eat well. I don't know if maybe it's the post marathon blues, or the fact that my work environment is anything but positive. Now, don't get me wrong. I love my job. I really love my job. When I am in the middle of doing my job, I'm happy. I work with incredible people. Truly, for a job that is not really dealing with happy situations most of the time (compare this to working at Disney where generally people are happy), I really love what I do. What I can't handle is all the politics and crap that come along with the job. I mean, it's like people sit in their offices trying to dream up what they can do next that will have the most negative impact on the largest number of people. Maybe I am part of some social experiment. Because otherwise, I just cannot understand how this happens. Maybe I am just not seeing the good side of all these decisions, but maybe I'm just too tired of trying to figure out what is trying to be accomplished this time. And then, when it doesn't work, because it didn't the last five times they tried it, trying to come up with some sort of justification for why that had to happen. It's very frustrating. Maybe this is just a sign that I'm in need of some other way to spend hours away from my family while also earning the all mighty dollar which helps us get by day to day. I don't know, but I sure hope I figure that out soon.

In the meantime, I need a way to try and start feeling motivated again. There is a lot going on in my life to be motivated for. Training for a marathon, mentoring first time marathoners, raising my incredible little boy, hanging out with my husband, playing with my dog, visiting with family and friends, training for a new time in a half marathon, fundraising for the unit that saved my son's life. I mean truly, I am so lucky to have the life that I do, that I need to feel more motivated. 

In the past week, I have only gone running once. I have had a couple opportunities, but just didn't want to take them. I have also been eating terribly. I mean, I know better, but one night I had pizza, cheesies, chocolate, soda, Starbucks, and probably other stuff, but I am just not remembering. Really, it's just been a bad week for exercise and eating. I know I can start again fresh, but I'm just disappointed in myself for not trying a little bit harder.

But now I must stop. I have a little boy tugging at my arm wanting me to leave the computer, and I don't want to let him down!! So for now, it's off to the circus, or the animal farm, or to watch the Backyardigans, again!!

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