How many children do I really want?

I love spending time with Sebastian. I love that he's going to have a little brother or sister sometime here. I've spent a lot of time lately wondering about what I want for my family. I always swore I'd never have kids, then Sebastian came along and he's such a hoot. Now someone else is coming along and I've wondered if 2 kids is enough. I know I won't physically have more than 2 kids, but I think I really want more than 2 kids. I really want to adopt. Maybe it's crazy, but I think it would be such an amazing experience for our family. It would be a way to learn about other cultures, another sibling for Sebastian and his soon-to-be sibling, a way to increase our family size without burdening the world's overpopulation problem, and crazy enough, I think I may even want to have more than 2 kids (which I swore I never would have in a million years).

I've read a few blogs lately about people going through various experiences (having their own kids, being a mother by choice, and families who adopt) in relation to family growth. The blogs have been fantastic and a great way to see what has worked for different families.

Awhile back, I lived in India and I remember thinking that it was so sad that there were so many kids out there just wanting someone to love them. Rather than grow up in an orphanage, maybe I can help at least one child have a childhood with a family who loves them.

I also think that maybe the idea of adopting has helped to ease some of the stress and worry that the pregnancy is inevitably creating (even if it is only in the background). Sebastian's early arrival was definitely not part of the big picture plan, and his roller coaster beginning was tough. I know we're being watched more carefully this time around, but we can't deny the fact that the same thing could happen again (of course it may not, it's that unknown!!). I think planning for the future, and the idea of another addition to our family has definitely helped ease those worries. I believe everything will turn out fine, and by planning for the future, I'm imagining what will happen next, after the baby comes home. I did the same thing when Sebastian was sick, planning his time capsule to be opened when he turns 18 or has his first child. I had to concentrate on the future so I wouldn't let the scary part of the present overtake where I wanted us to be down the road. Silly, but effective!!