I am tired. I am exhausted. Sometimes my new little guy just won't settle down. Most of the time he's great, but heading into nighttime, he is sometimes just unsettled and that is frustrating. Last night, we tried everything to settle him, and it took almost 3 hours. And then, he was up again 15 minutes later. I know this is just part of the process of having a new baby, but it's soooooooo tiring. I need to have that outlet that running provides so I can get my head sorted out again. And so that I can believe that I am actually cut out to be a mom.
I'm not really a baby person. I don't go gaga at the sight of a baby. If I go to a shower for someone, I don't have any need to actually hold the baby. I think I'm missing part of that mothering instinct. I can't hear the difference in my baby's cries like the lady on Oprah was trying to teach a few years ago. I just try the typical stuff, and when it doesn't work, I just try all the same stuff again. Even my husband is better at some of this stuff than me. Oh well, I know it will all become routine soon. But in the meantime, I am excited to run again, only 3 more weeks and I should get the go ahead.
In the meantime, I will try and exist in my zombie like state and continue to crave sleep, which I should get again, in about 10 years or something!!